October 13, 2020

Why I’m Done Dating Men like my Father.

“I don’t have a daughter who has misshapen lips,” my dad commented this morning on a picture of me with my new beautiful lipstick on.

A wave of silent anger arose inside me, it wanted to come out and scream, “Enough of this sh*t, just enough already!” I gathered my breath deep in my belly and walked to my favorite park; walking and writing these words—I want this message to be out there in the world.

It’s time we say “enough” to whoever is trying to diminish us in passive-aggressive, silent, or subtle ways.

It’s time we say, “Enough.”

My time has come to say all this out loud.

“Dad, I want you to understand, once and for all, these kinds of diminishing, “funny” comments and texts are not acceptable anymore. This is a no. I hope you get it.” I replied to his text.

My father had always been a handsome, big guy but deeply insecure. My mom was even more beautiful in her younger years when they got married.

I found my father to be a controlling man. 

I am transforming into a woman my father has never met before.

I’m transforming into a woman my father has yet to meet, if ever.

I am transforming into my own kind of woman, away from my family’s influence.

I am ready to lose all and everyone if it will cost me my most authentic, beautiful, amazing, and magical self.

I kept choosing my dad through other men. Until a while ago. I have decided—and I choose—not to date my father anymore.

It’s not an option for me any longer. I have outgrown my “father’s daughter” syndrome.

I have outgrown the daughter my parents had. It’s confusing for them and intimidating to see a new me.

But you see?

I don’t belong to my parents. Neither do you.

I belong to myself, first.

You belong to yourself, first.

The woman I am becoming deserves a man of her own kind. The woman I’m becoming sees men differently now.

The woman I’m becoming will cost me: people, things, places, and family members as I outgrow them.


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