To the one from divorced parents,
There is a lot of confusion you may be experiencing, firstly, and that is normal.
This moment that isn’t about you leaves you with such a deep scar.
Let me tell you something: you will have it with you for the rest of your life. You’ll carry these demons within you, but it is up to you how you let this experience shape you.
Blaming others will not help you at all, nor will blaming yourself, so remember to be compassionate to yourself every moment—especially when those demons come forth throughout your life.
There is a lot of noise in this world. You will hear that “children from divorced homes don’t do well in education,” or “Children from divorced homes don’t have healthy relationships.” Do not let this noise define you.
And let me be brutally honest: no one will save you. I know it’s hard because you didn’t get to choose the family you came from, but my friend, you get to choose who will be yours.
You may feel hatred toward your parents, you may not know what you feel toward them, but you will find healing in the realization that they are human. They tried their best and just like you, they are figuring life out too.
So it’s important that you address your traumas—those toxic thoughts and emotions. You do that by showing compassion to them. You are a creature of habit, so build good habits for yourself and your future. Create spaces and an environment of growth for your well-being.
Here is some advice that will help you:
>> Be truthful and honest, especially with yourself.
>> Develop habits that’ll benefit you in years to come.
>> Surround yourself with those who help you look after your well-being, be supportive, and yet will also call you out when you are out of line. You are not alone.
>> Find an outlet to express yourself and grow into it. Change and growth don’t come overnight, but if you keep at it you’ll find something beautiful will be created.
>> Be yourself, don’t change for anyone or act to fit in.
Finally, you are strong.
Life will be a bumpy ride. There will be highs and lows; there will be moments from joy to darkness. From the darkness, you will find a light and that is you.
Someone who understands.