Learning to trust in a long-distance relationship requires the same amount of effort from you and your partner.
Relationships are like babies. They’re loveable but require a lot of work, and it’s more tasking when you’re in a long-distance relationship. You can’t see the other person or be with them, but you must find a way to keep the trust going. Believe me when I say you need patience and optimism to make it work.
You’re probably scared of long-distance relationships, and you’re not alone. I know many people who swear never to date long-distance, and this is the same narrative pushed in most TV shows and films – one partner has a job opportunity in another state, and the couple begin to discuss breaking up.
But it’s not all bleak, trust me. Now, let’s consider the basics.
- Statistics say more than 14 million people in the United States are in one long-distance relationship or the other.
- As of 2018, more stats proved that 58% of long-distance relationships are successful.
- Trust is one of the top reasons why long-distance relationships don’t work.
Trust doesn’t just happen. It’s built. And you know what? You can’t truly say you trust your partner until it’s been put to the test. I mean, it’s easy to vouch for someone you see every day and very nearly track their movements, right?
So how can you trust your partner in a long-distance relationship? How do you build trust?
- Know Your Partner
It’s almost impossible to trust someone you don’t know. You need accurate knowledge about your partner for trust to happen. So, yes, starting a new relationship long-distance is not advisable.
Accurate knowledge comes from understanding your partner, accurately interpreting what they say or mean, and trying to decipher their emotional state. It means you easily know when something is wrong or right.
This doesn’t come to anyone easily, but you get these answers by asking each other questions; get to know your partner’s likes, dislikes, hobbies, future plans, and the family or manner in which your partner grew up.
You can get answers by playing games to ask these questions, keep the conversation going on different platforms such as voice calls, video calls, or social media.
- Stay Committed
No relationship is rosy and smooth all the time. When the relationship doesn’t feel exciting, you may easily let go, but this will affect your ability to trust each other.
When the excitement drops, talk about the goals you have for the relationship, the challenges the relationship is facing, and what you can do to keep the relationship going. Remain committed to trust and communication in the relationship.
- I’m Trustworthy, and I’ll Prove It
When you give your word, stick with it no matter how difficult. It might take calling at the end of a busy day or responding to a message when you don’t feel like it.
If following up is impossible at a time you set, speak up, give cogent reasons early enough and ask for forgiveness, don’t demand it.
If your partner doesn’t respond to your messages or reply to your calls, confront them, and don’t create a habit of letting important things like this slide because you want peace. Be transparent, please.
- Open Up
As a child, my parents always said honesty is the best policy, and this is true for long-distance relationships. Honesty and communication are as important as pots in the kitchen.
When you’re honest, and you open up, it will be easier for you to get the same from your partner. If you feel frustrated or uncomfortable, open up! Be vulnerable with your partner and expect them to do the same.
- Space is Important
As much as you want your relationship for yourself, you need to give your partner space. Without this, your partner will feel suffocated and wouldn’t trust your decisions.
Be sensitive when you’re communicating. Don’t force or pressure your partner to give you more space or time when you know they’re going through a rough time.
- Disagree to Agree
If you and your partner have NEVER had an argument, you need to check that relationship. Relationships with disagreements that lead to agreement breed more trust than relationships with no arguments at all.
When arguing, try to listen to what your partner has to say no matter how angry you might feel. Gently express how you feel without using hurtful words. You should both reach a resolution, not one person suggesting what the solution should be.
Relationships are as delicate as babies. You need trust to make them grow, and this will require that you work on yourself and be a better person. Without this, your long-distance relationship will be no different from a ticking bomb waiting to blow up.