I still think of you most days. I think at some point it wasn’t easy to let go of what we had, but for some reason, maybe my pride, pushed me to let it go and thought it was for the best. Honestly, at that moment I knew it was for the best. Like I said, we just couldn’t stand each other anymore. We just couldn’t be there for each other anymore. You were hurting so much, and I was hurting too. If what we had continued, eventually it would rip as apart. Crush us more. But letting you go made a difference but not too prominent that I’m still unsure if I made the right choice.

I think I grew. More as a person and as a friend to others. I’d like to think I’m a better friend now. What happened between us taught me more than an ordinary experience would. Maybe that was the best thing I’d like to think that this pain brought me. It made us grow apart, but it made us grow nonetheless.

Up until now, I’m still thinking about what we could have been if we stayed. But at the same time, I can’t bring myself to form a solid thought of what we could have done to salvage the thing between us.

Most days, I still think of you. Most of the time I still compare you to the people I’ve met and think about what you could have done and said different if you were with me. At some point, I accepted the fact that even if we cut ties, I’m still into you. I still seek for the company you gave. There’s still something in you that I couldn’t find elsewhere. And I’m still in the process of finding that out.

Maybe I just wish at some point that you’re still affected by what happened between us just as much as I am. because the way I see it now, contrary of what I thought back then. It’s me who can’t move on and it’s you who’s having a better life without me and not the other way around.

But maybe I just can’t be happy with myself or maybe I just can’t bring myself to be happy without you. Or maybe the reason is that it was never clear what really happened between us. how it really ended and who gave up first.

I just know that at some point in the future, we have to talk again. About the things we couldn’t back then. And also the things we missed out on each other. The things that we may found interesting for one another.

I miss you everyday. Unconsciously, but I know I do and I just wish you do too.