I would like to tell you some stories. Stories of the land, stories of our predecessors, stories of healing.
As I have been traveling across the the surface of mother earth, sleeping so close to her in the back of my car, she has begun to call me to lands that need healing work. Much like people land has a history that is not always pleasant, sometime the very ground holds the memory of this history; invisibly scarring the earth’s surface in the same way that people can be invisibly scarred by traumatic events. In the same way I am called to offer shamanic bodywork to people, I too am called to heal the land. These are some of her stories.
As I was driving through the Navajo nation on the way to some hot springs in Colorado I started to notice subtle changes in the energy field that got stronger and stronger the deeper I traveled into the nation. The basic message of the energy was “GO AWAY!” I assumed this energy was coming from the people of the Navajo Nation. I knew that the Navajo had been hit hard by covid and they were highly discouraging visitors. I intend to respect this wish and was only using the road to pass through rather than visit. Still the deeper into Navajo land I went the worse I felt. I began to get a headache, feel tired, weak, and generally ill. Half way through my journey over the land I had the need to pee. So I started looking for a nice spot in the wilderness to stop and pee and eat lunch, hoping that some rest and nourishment would help with my headache and ailments. I drove for over an hour without finding anywhere that looked pleasant to rest. Finally, my need to pee become so strong that I decided to pull into the next little sliver of land on the side of the road no matter what it looked like. The spot happened to be right next to mile marker 333, the time I stopped the car was 3:33pm and the song that was playing on my phone was at the time of 3 min and 33 sec. I remember thinking it must mean something but then dashed out of my car to pee.
I had just bought and was wearing a beautiful magickal white leather purse containing an amulet handcrafted by Phoenix Two Moons, a native women living in Sedona. Not wanting to accidentally pee on the purse I hurriedly threw it a safe distance from me onto the soft white sand and then peed. Relieved, I walked back to my car. When I contemplated eating lunch at the spot it felt like the sand was too hot, the wind was too strong, and the air too dry. As I continued driving through Navajo land time became weird; one hour felt like two and the desolate empty land seemed to go on forever. I found myself wonder when I would ever reach my destination.
By the time I finally reached Colorado it was late; a journey that according to my GPS should have been 5 hours took 8. It was only after I made camp and was getting ready for bed that I remembered my purse and amulet; they had been left back at mile marker 333. The white purse had blended in with the white sand of the Navajo land and been left behind. I so rarely forget such things and even if I do I usually remember very quickly but not this time. This lose was that proverbial icing on the cake of a horrible day. I went to sleep that night in a whirlwind of emotions.
I woke up the next morning contemplative. I was asking myself “what is the meaning of this experience?” It was such an extreme experience that there must be something deeper wanting to come through. I knew the number 3 is a symbol of two energies coming together to create a third; powerful sign that something new wanted to be birthed into the world.
I wondered if perhaps the “GO AWAY!” energy was not the covid stricken people of the Navajo nation but the Navajo land remembering the atrocities committed by the white man to Native Americans. Maybe the land was kicking me (the white person) out and taking back what belonged to it; the native made purse and amulet. Then I grimly recalled that I have German ancestors who came to America as missionaries specifically to proceletize to the Native Americans. My ancestors played a big role in the destruction and desecration of the Native American culture. I wondered if perhaps I should let the land keep the items as tribute rather than hazard driving 4 hours back into the heart of a land that so clearly did not want me there. After a day of recuperation at Orvis hot springs I decided my path. I did not share the beliefs of my ancestors, and I did not want this to be my story; I did not want to continue the repetition of this cycle. I would not be the sacrificial token white perpetrator.
The next day I made preparations and headed back toward Navajo land. At the Border of the Navajo nation I pulled over. I played my drum as an offering to the land and as a way to shift my mind out of the mundane and into the holy, spiritual, and energetic realms. I gave the land an offering of tobacco and I ask the land for permission to travel across it. I did not dare to enter the land again until I felt a clear “YES, you may enter.”
It just so happened that this same day I was scheduled to be on a group zoom call of constellation workers, facilitated by the beautiful and powerful Gwendolyn Terra. Constellations are a modernized version of an ancient shamanic healing practice in which participants embody and channel the spirit of characters within a conflict. The conflict is resolved through skillful facilitation and a divine theater between the embodiments. Participants in this weekly group had been alternating receiving constellations. After sharing my story I asked that I, my ancestors, Native Americans and the Navajo land be the focus of the constellation.
What came through was beautiful and powerful. The Native American embodiment spoke of pain and betrayal. The embodiment of my ancestors saw their mistake and were horrified and apologetic. The land embodiment told us that she had enough space to hold us all and we did not need to fight over her. She also forgave humans for our atrocities. By the end of the Constelation some of the tensions were eased and the embodiments were at least able to respect one another if not able to fully forgive. All of this was occurring when the the black-lives-matter riots were taking place. The relevance of the conflict between African Americans versus Caucasian Americans and Native Americans versus Caucasian settlers did not escape me. This Constellation was to heal the rifts between all races.
After the constellation I made it back to mile marker 333. I found my purse and amulet lying on the white sand, right where I left them. I then made my way Austin. I still experienced a strange time warp when re-entering Navajo land but my second experience was much more pleasant; I felt hesitantly welcomed. I believe I furthered the on going process of healing and reconnection that is needed between Caucasian Americans and Native Americans; healing the rift between all races that are in conflict.