It is 8:08 pm in the south of France, nearly 4 hours to go until 2020 comes to an end and 2021 will start.
On the other side of the world it has already started.
This year was huge – worldwide, on a collective level and for everybody of us on a very personal level.
What happened on the outside influenced us all profoundly.
I am alone at home. I can‘t remember, if I was ever alone on new years eve. I don‘t think so.
I was afraid of being alone – and now it feels so absolutely right.
I will burn photos and letters at midnight and will do a little ritual to say goodbye to the old and welcome to the new.
This post is a short review of my personal 2020.
It was a tough year for me – my life went upside down once more – it started already at the beginning of December 2019.
I hit rock bottom this year. I confronted myself with stored pain and trauma – and went through emotions I never have before in this depth.
It was not funny. I had days I was so absolutely hopeless, that I saw no longer sense in going on. I will not say that it was the darkest year of my life, but for sure, since I am on my journey to myself.
And I am very, very proud of myself, that I went through this pain, that I released and healed so much of these old wounds and trauma.
At the same time I had so much support, as never. I was surrounded by human angels. My neighbours, soul family, my father, my aunt, colleagues and friends and people following my journey, commenting and sharing and being with me.
I Thank all them from the depth of my heart.
And I made amazing experiences this year, I made never before.
I was all year long provided with always enough money, which is really amazing.
I bought myself my first own car – alone, without having a clue about cars, just following my intuition. In this process I understood how my ego works, how absolutely intelligent and manipulative I am with myself, when I think, that I am in danger.
I ended soul contracts and I freed myself from a lifelong – and as I feel it, lifetimes long – playing small, holding back, and putting others over me. Hiding behind others.
I stopped pleasing people.
I learned to set healthy boundaries, what is a result of becoming more and more aware of my self worth.
I made amazing experiences by speaking my truth out of my heart.
I reclaimed my power.
I am still triggered and I start more and more to not react out of the trigger, but feel what’s going on in me and act differently. Share, what‘s going on in me and make new experiences, beautiful experiences.
And understand that this is the way we create our reality.
Listening to our intuition that knows the way, feeling, not trying to control our feelings, but becoming aware of the patterns. How we react is usually out of old programming and so I can decide to try something new.
With fear – for sure, how could it be different, when we do something, we never have done, go to places, we never were before.
It is not about being free of fear, but being aware of the fear and going anyway. Taking the fear by the hand.
Like an old and well known friend.
What was new, for you this year?
Where have you grown?
What have you learned and changed?
I would love to hear about the beauty, this totally different year has brought you through the challenges you have experienced.
Share in the comments, what you are grateful for in 2020.
I wish you the best for the start of your personal 2021.
Never forget – you are loved – always!