December 23, 2020

The Color I See when I Think of You.

It’s the color I see when I wipe away tears, close my eyelids, and look down toward 6 p.m. to see her smiling at me.

It’s the color of my favorite flowers I buy on Sundays from Trader Joe’s and the color of my favorite summer drink.

It’s the color of my wallet, my backpack, and my throw pillows.

It’s the color I bask in even on a cloudy day.

It’s the color of my favorite fruit, my toothbrush, and the socks I slip on when I want to feel at home.

It’s the color I feel in my heart when I twist my legs into a braid every time someone says, “You’re beautiful.”

It’s the color of a child’s soul, the color of connection, and the color of infinite presence.

It’s the color of love.

It’s the color I sign with my pinkie and thumb.

It’s a color that is beautifully said in both English and Spanish.

It’s the color of my soul, the color of nourishment, and the color that radiated so brightly from someone I deeply miss.


I miss you every day. You may be gone, but I still see you in everything I see and own that seems to have been touched by the same thing that colored your soul.

I think tonight I’ll close my eyes once more so I can see what I loved most about you and this world.

I think I’ll close my eyes so all that I love can take form.


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