December 13, 2020

What your Broken Friend Really Needs to Hear.

She has a long history of unhealed traumas.

She is already broken and desperate. And she’s standing in a storm without an umbrella, begging for help.

She doesn’t need to hear about who and where she should be by now. She doesn’t need to hear that her struggle is going to ruin her kids. She doesn’t need to be reminded of every naive choice that led her here. Or to just snap out of it.

She already tells herself the same.

It’s scary to be so vulnerable. To open herself to being judged and criticized when she already feels like she’s being buried alive. Yet, she’s openly admitting that she is struggling, that’s she’s not who she wants to be, and that she can’t do this alone. She reached out for a perspective that doesn’t tear her down—that doesn’t agree with every horrible thought she’s fighting through.

She needs light and love.

Having a tribe is very important to her, and in this space, they can either help make or break her. Right now, she needs support and guidance. She needs good thoughts and experiences. She needs to know there’s hope that she can’t see right now. She needs to feel safe in her fragile state.

She is me.  

Alongside the darkness that has added to my dark days, I’ve been told a few things by counselors and friends that have helped.

If you or someone know is in the midst of a depressing and lonely struggle, remember:

>> Parents with money and stability are struggling, too. Do you know why? Because they have teenagers and that’s what teenagers do in this phase of their life.

>> Anyone that’s critical of you has problems they don’t know how to face.

>> People all over are struggling to recover and stay recovered, because the pandemic is so impactful on mental health. What you feel is not uncommon.

>> Wash one dish every hour.

>> Play with art without a purpose. Don’t think. Don’t create. Just play.

>> Make a schedule that covers basic needs.

>> You are not your struggles. There’s more to you than what you’re going through. There’s beauty in you that you can’t see.

>> You’re a fighter. Even when you’re weak, you fight to hold on.

>> I understand that it’s hard for you. This would be hard for anyone in your shoes.

>> You’re not a fool for needing help and asking for it.

>> Let’s do something on your to-do list together.

>> Play a new game or learn something new.

>> Do one simple thing that makes your kids happy.

>> Everyone is traveling their own path. People start over every day at every age.

>> You’re not alone. I’m here.


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