Yes, it all starts with you.
Take stock in who you are, and perform a self-evaluation.
Ask yourself the following questions:
>> Would you date yourself?
>> What do you have to offer someone else?
>> What do you want from a partner?
>> What does a healthy relationship look like to you?
>> Are you emotionally available?
>> Have you fully healed from past relationships?
>> Do you have any childhood trauma that needs healing?
>> How do you handle conflict?
>> Do you know what a relationship truly means?
There is so much advice out there on how to find true love or, even better, your “soul” mate. Whatever you are looking for, whatever you believe in…absolutely exists. Nothing is unattainable, and most everything you want really is within reach. You truly just need to get out of your own way and believe it exists because it does.
With so many dating apps and organized ways to meet people, dating should be a no-brainer, right? The problem is, people overthink the dating process, and they are impatient. We live in an instant gratification world in which we have everything at our fingertips.
We believe dating should be easy. We join a dating site thinking Mr. Perfect is going to just magically appear without any work on our part. It does happen, sometimes, if you are one of the lucky ones, but it’s few and far between.
The reality is, it takes time, patience, and a lot of energy to find the person you are meant to be with. Someone once said that they “had to kiss a lot of frogs” before they met the right person, and I believe that to be the case, sometimes.
Whether you are online dating, being fixed up by friends, or hoping you meet someone at a coffee shop, it takes divine timing, faith, patience, and the belief that you are worthy of meeting someone wonderful.
I tell my clients (and friends)—perspective is everything in life!
If you venture into the online dating scene with a negative perspective, as with anything in life, you will surely have a negative experience. However, if you go into it with a positive mindset and look at it as an opportunity and a means to meet good (and, sometimes, not so great) people, then you will find the experience to be a positive one, and it can even be fun again. It depends on your perspective.
The truth is, yes, there are some wacky people out there, but you can meet them in person too; they aren’t just online. They are in grocery stores, coffee shops, bars, and at work. Online dating is just an easier means for them to congregate.
That being said, there is a lot that goes into finding your perfect partner.
Let’s visit these things:
>> Know exactly what you want (I have heard it termed “placing your order”).
>> Be ready for it (do the work on yourself first).
>> Visualize (imagine he or she is already here).
>> Feel it coming (feel their energy as you are drawing them in).
>> Let go of the details (short, tall, bald, skinny; don’t create a vision—let the magic just unfold).
>> Accept what the Universe presents you (it may come in a totally different package—embrace it).
>> Appreciate what you have been given (have gratitude, always).
>> Let go of control and let it fall into place (let the Universe bring you what is meant for you).
>> Believe in the magic (we lose the magic that we had as children; it’s time to bring that back into your life).
Again, perspective is everything in life. Whether we are focused on work, children, family, homes, finances, relationships, or friendships, the way we choose to view the world is critical.
I can say from experience that, because I had such a low sense of worth, I would see the world through grey lenses, my attitude was negative, and I didn’t feel I was worthy or that I even deserved healthy things in my life.
Self-reflection helped me to see that I was drawing in these negative things that were happening in my life. Despite having an incredible amount of positive things happening, I simply wasn’t as grateful as I should have been. Once I saw my own part in my story, I started shifting my perspective, and things have dramatically changed. Actually, they started changing almost immediately.
Focusing on myself versus focusing on others, hanging on to past stories and negative experiences, and letting people define me were all behaviors that were damaging to my soul.
I have made the commitment to let go of the past (which takes a lot of work). I also took my power back, and will never let anyone define me. The past does not define me; people do not define me. I define me!
I also let go of trying to control every ounce of my life and have allowed myself to just “be” and I love it.
Trusting that the Universe has our back is another critical piece to healing and manifesting the things we desire.
Every day, I am excited to see what the Universe has in store for me and my family. I have become quite vulnerable by letting go of the control I once clung so tightly, knowing that the Universe really does have my back. It knows what I need and will provide me with every opportunity there is—as long as I get out of the way.
I encourage you to shift your perspective and mindset to a more positive one and start seeing the magic in life. Just let the Universe unfold what is meant for you.
Draw in all that you desire—starting today.