Written by Deborah Garratt Intuitive Coach & Spiritual Arts

www.deborahgarratt.com

 

Many women find their faith early in life. Perhaps they grew up in a household where going to church every Sunday was a part of life. It was expected and dutifully followed. In many ways, I feel that they are lucky to have a foundation for their faith. It is much easier to keep on the same traditions you had in your family or the conviction that you want something different.

 

When as women, we start our own families we are faced with having to adapt to our spouse’s faith or have them adapt to ours. Often this issue is kept under wraps until they start having children. I know for myself that I was not baptized due to my Father was a catholic and my Mother a protestant. Their brilliant solution for that was to not baptize me at all. Therefore, my Mother would have us hop from one Christian religion to another.

 

This system seemed to work okay until I got to high school. For the first time in my life, I was enrolled in a catholic school. I was not brought up in this way like most of my schoolmates. They already know how to work the system and I clearly did not. On the first day of school in my religion class, the teacher asked each girl to introduce them and announce proudly what religion she was baptized in. I was in one of the last rows and this had me absolutely terrified. Everyone girl in the room was baptized! This was my nightmare come to life; I was sweating by the time she got to my row. When it was my turn I mumbled my name and that I was indeed not baptized. I did this in such a quiet manner that only a handful of girls around several and me heard gasped. This did not bolster my confidence. Finally, on the third attempt which was actually audible, the teacher who of course was a nun dropped her jaw and asked me to repeat it again as if she heard the angels in heaven gasping for air, too.

 

She asked me to stay after class because she needed to speak to me. I knew from the reaction of the entire class that I was in big trouble. With much trepidation, I approached her desk and she asked me if I lived in a town about 45 minutes away and rode the bus to and from school and I replied yes, that I did. She then proceeded to tell me that since I wasn’t baptized that if the bus crashed and I died that I would go to hell.

This traumatized me for years to come. My parents tried to calm me down and defend their actions by saying they didn’t baptize me because they couldn’t agree and thought it would be best to let me decide when I was old enough. Perhaps this is why I went to every church in town growing up so I could pick one.

 

Needless to say, when I got married I was easily adopted by my husband’s religion. I just needed a stable foundation for my future children. I would not put them through what I went through as a child and young adult. So when our first daughter was baptized, I was baptized right along with her. I can’t say that I felt much different but it was still a right of passage that I needed to do, just in case.

 

But the reality was that I have always been very spiritual and not very religious. There are several reasons for this, including that I have spiritual gifts and have this sense of knowing that I can’t explain nor do I know where it comes from. There were many years of me seeking answers through different spiritual classes and experiences.

 

As women, raising families we all have the sense of responsibility to give our children a good religious foundation. It is up to them when they are adults to carry on with the family traditions or to discover their own faith, either way, we have done our job.

 

But what happens to our faith when we become what I call “women in full bloom”? This term I coined is for women who are finally putting themselves first, healing from the past, and rediscovering who they are and what really they want. We are no longer are a mentor for our children and their faith. Most of us are now divorced or widowed and let’s face it have bruises and scars from the wonderful journey called life. None of us get to this age or season in life without having faced loss, disappointment, grief, and pain whether that is physical or emotional.

 

So what becomes of our faith? For many of us we start to look for answers to the many questions we have formed from what we’ve experienced in life. Perhaps our faith has been pushed to the limit or we have lost it completely. For me, traditional religion has never brought me these answers, and trust me I have had many. It is at this time in life that many of us turn to spirituality. There are many reasons for this and perhaps as we get closer to death realize that the time is now or never.

 

Seeking answers and renewing one’s faith at this time of life is incredibly healing and empowering. Seeing your life and life for everyone at a higher level brings comfort and meaning. When we were younger and busy raising kids, working, maintaining a marriage there wasn’t time to turn within and make space for your spiritual practices.

 

This process can start with just meditating for 10 minutes a day. Just quieting the mind and feeling grounded can be incredibly restorative. It is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Real healing starts from within and being introspective will bring about answers that you have longed for. I believe that being still and focusing on what is going on in your body will bring about a release of past hurt and bring about emotional healing.

 

As “Women in FULL bloom” we are aware even at our age that we are continuing to bloom which means our petals are fully open exposing our glorious centers to the world. It takes years and years of love, joy, passion, heartbreak, disappointment, and loss to finally bloom fully. We are survivors and have the courage and wisdom to be fully open and expose our true selves. Embrace your spirituality and experience the wonder of self-love and acceptance. It is the greatest gift you can give yourself.