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Warning: well-deserved cursing below!
I have read a few depressing articles in recent weeks about life after 50 for a woman.
Jennifer Lopez gets thrown in there as some fantasy that everyday women cannot achieve, and, quite frankly, if a reader was in dark headspace, these articles would likely tip them over the edge.
Here’s the thing, JLo is a rarity! Put it down to good genes, wealth, the best trainers, and chefs. Then, of course, there’s all the judgment and even bitterness of her good fortune and whether she has or has not had some “help” or surgery.
But let’s make it clear: the woman works fucking hard to maintain her health and appearance. So, I say good for her and rather than bitching about her, instead use her for inspiration.
I feel pretty bloody incredible. I know, for many women, it’s a tough time. And I myself have been through quite the tsunami over the past few years—there were moments I felt broken.
But we have a fucking choice, ladies. We either allow ourselves to wallow in self-pity and convince ourselves we are unworthy and our life is over.
Or we kick our own ass, do the inner work required—change our beliefs and rediscover ourselves, our purpose, and our passions.
Yes, at times, we live in an ageist society, and we have to navigate the world of changing hormones, changing lives, and those who are judgemental. Perhaps it’s our own perception and insecurities that are half the problem?
Instead of being triggered by everything, how about we start to look at ourselves and work on ourselves rather than worrying about everyone else’s opinion?
We are in control, and we can be who we want to be! What others think of us is none of our business, and those who judge have their own insecurities.
We are women in what can be our prime. Too much focus on attractiveness being solely based on appearance. Energy is attractive. Confidence is attractive. Humour is attractive. Intelligence is attractive. Passion is attractive. Self-care is attractive.
Self-aware is attractive. Authenticity is attractive. Openness is attractive. Independent and interesting women who know what they want and are proud of their bodies—regardless of whether there are some wobbly bits or stretch marks.
We don’t need to compete with 20-year-olds! We don’t need to compete with anyone! We are fucking beautiful, creative, smart, funny, sexy beings with the wisdom from years of learnings and an essence uniquely our own.
I do not feel one bit invisible. I feel alive. I feel vibrant. I am funny. I am intelligent. I am confident, and I am constantly being told I have an energy about me that people are drawn to.
It’s true to say I did not always feel this way. And I most certainly lost myself for a time, but the beauty in losing yourself is finding the courage to reinvent yourself. To take a good, long, hard look in the fucking mirror and allow yourself to dance with your shadows. To do the hard inner work and to learn and grow.
Many of us women are givers, and, at times, we give so much we leave ourselves empty. It’s our responsibility to stand up and take action for our own happiness. Stand in your power, ladies. Rediscover your purpose and work toward it every single day with love and passion.
Don’t like something about yourself? Change it!
It’s not going to change by whining about it. It’s going to change when we put a plan in place to actively work on the parts of ourselves we don’t like. The parts of ourselves we are not completely happy with—physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual.
Yes, it’s true; as we age, we are more prone to health issues, and sometimes these are unavoidable and out of our control.
But why sit there waiting for shit to happen?
Why give ourselves negative self-talk, which eventually becomes a belief?
What we think, we become! We are the creators of our lives, and there’s plenty we can do for ourselves.
We can choose what we eat. We can choose to exercise. We can choose to adopt some relaxation practices. We can choose to look after our skin and our hair.
We can choose to learn. We can choose to stay in relationships or jobs. We can choose to speak our truth.
The point is: we can choose.
So, at 52 years old, I own the amazing woman I am. I’ve worked fucking hard to get to this place, and I’m damn proud of myself! I look at younger women and have no envy whatsoever. I’ve been there; I’ve lived those years.
And now I get to live the life of a woman who is more than comfortable in her own skin. Who knows that she has so much to offer. A woman who knows the energy she emits is something special.
A woman who feels seen and valued—but, most of all, a woman who values herself!
To all you ladies out there feeling “middle-aged and frumpy,” you choose how you see yourself, and you can decide whether that serves you or not.
If you feel invisible, that’s because you think you’re invisible.
When you feel like shit about yourself, your energy runs on a lower frequency—you tend to not work on yourself.
My challenge to you is to see yourself how you want to be seen and act accordingly, by putting things in place to change what’s not working for you.
Not always easy, I know. But possible. Anything is possible!
Fifty-two and fucking fabulous. And why shouldn’t we be?!
“Aging is an extraordinary process, where you become the person you always should have been.” ~ David Bowie