February 11, 2021

Marriage: a lot like Riding a Bicycle Made for Two.

A tandem bicycle is a playful and constant reminder of what it takes to ride through life with someone.

It’s always fun to have someone beside you, or in this case behind you. But, there will be days when one of you is feeling weary, and the other will have to kick into a higher gear to compensate.

Some days, you will be so in sync, words are not necessary.

Other days will be so difficult, you don’t have the words—take the time to find them.

There will be times in your life when one of you wants to pull over and jump off, while the other pedals as fast as he or she can toward the final destination. Finding that even keel is what life’s all about. Understanding the rhythm of your person is how we smooth out the ride.

Let your partner make the ride smoother. Lean into the turns, tap the breaks gently, and remember to toot the horn every so often. Working with another into a place of synchronicity is just that: work. So, make time to play, too. Put yourself on your calendar. Do something every day that makes you sweat, and be mindful to choose a pace that suits you both.

Most importantly, when you fall down, brush yourself off and get back on. Let your heart navigate the way. Pack some hope and faith into the basket when you begin a journey—that little gem of wisdom will carry you far in your life together.

Remember where home is and know that it’s always there. No matter how far away you go and how fast you pedal to get there, it, and the people who love you, will be there and will promise to give you a push—if it helps you get where you need to go. If you get a flat tire, you can give them a ring.

If you don’t have the desire to ride, ride more—nothing worth having comes easily.

Remember that it’s easier to figure out how to work together than to try and steer in two different directions. The most important thing you can do is continue steering in the same direction.

Navigating marriage is no different than riding a bicycle made for two. Let it be silly, and awkward, and challenging, and keep at it until it becomes a bit more comfortable. As soon as it does, you’ll hit a pothole or get a flat tire and the adventure begins all over again. Keep choosing each other every day. A good marriage requires 100/100, not 50/50.

Keep showing up to ride.

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