February 3, 2021

Twin Flame or Soul Mate? An Expert Explains the Difference. {Partner}

This article is written in partnership with Elle Hari, bestselling author, teacher, and founder of “Be With Your Twin Flame.” She’s dedicated to supporting people on their Twin Flame journey & we are honored to work with her. ~ed.


“I just want to find my person.”

This phrase is enmeshed in every Rom-Com, Netflix series, Sex and the City soliloquy, and coffee shop conversation.

The idealism in romance has led us all to believe there is some cardboard cutout of our perfect match who we’ll kiss to life and they’ll render us a puddle of infatuation for the rest of our days.

We imagine someone is just waiting for us to stumble upon them during a hike in the Enchanted Forest.

We’ve been spoiled by movies like The Notebook. We assume “our person” will come sprinting toward us on a rain-drenched dock, and we’ll row our way through a ballet of swans into the sunset.

Some have called this person a soul mate, others have thought them to be a Twin Flame.

Not only am I not a relationship expert, I literally just came to know the term Twin Flame a few days ago when Elle Hari, founder of “Be With Your Twin Flame” and Ascension Alchemist, introduced it to me.

What you Don’t Know about Being with your Twin Flame:
Watch Elle’s Free Masterclass, here >>

Twin Flame, huh? I immediately had some burning questions.

As a married woman, my initial reaction was sheer panic. My peripheral perception of a Twin Flame was of a can’t-keep-your-hands-off-of-each-other romance, a la The Notebook. I leapt to take the term at its pop culture face value and shined it directly on my own relationship.

See, the early days of our love soirees, like many budding relationships, we stoked with endless embers of curiosity, lust, and infatuation. We were galavanting around the sexiest restaurants in Washington, D.C. and New York City, entangled in each others’ arms and swaying on packed dance floors, serenaded by live performers.

The pandemic couch dwelling days of late have been a little less…fiery. Does that mean I’m not with my Twin Flame? Is there a Twin Flame detector? Are we doomed? I immediately asked Elle Hari for her verdict.

What if my partner is not my Twin Flame?

Her grounded, calming candor quelled my apprehensions right away. She first explained that there is a distinction between a Twin Flame and a soul mate, and both can lead to a lifelong relationship. The soul mate even more so. Phew. Ya hear that, Jeff? We’re good.

The Twin Flame is the other half of our soul. They mirror our inherent qualities, and we can only access the lessons learned from a connection with our Twin Flame once we’ve become deeply acquainted with ourselves, first. This could take a lifetime—well, several lifetimes, in fact—whereas the meeting of soul mates more often leads to an immediate connection, and an indelible relationship.

If our partner isn’t our Twin Flame, that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re in a relationship with the wrong person.

What are the actual differences between a soul mate and a Twin Flame?

A Twin Flame is not a complement or an enhancement to our core essence, like it is with a soul mate. It is our core essence. A mate is a match, and we can have several soul mates, unlike our singular Twin Flame. Soul mates can appear in our lives as a family member, a partner, a friend, or even an animal.

Am I with my soul mate or my Twin Flame?
Watch the Video >>

Finally, someone validated my celestial connection with my fuzzy pup, Winnie.

A soul mate can even be an acquaintance. I knew I met one of mine when my waiter didn’t make me say “when” when he was grating fresh parmesan tableside and only stopped when a fluffy, cheesy glacier formed atop my pasta. Chef’s kiss.

That’s one commonality between the two—both relationships aren’t guaranteed to be romantic. Although Twin Flames tend to have a romantic portrayal, Elle clarified that the meeting of Twin Flames is less about romance and more about energy alignment. A Twin Flame can exist in the physical body of someone of the same gender, even if they haven’t historically been attracted to or romantically involved in a same-sex relationship.

People who are on the Twin Flame journey often are aching, yearning, and depressed in the absence of their soul’s missing puzzle piece. This can persist until our internal energy matches theirs, which requires deliberate actions and effort toward self-actualization.

That particular emptiness is familiar to Elle, which is why she has committed her life’s work to supporting others in the same position, and offering access to her spiritual guide within her Free Masterclass.

Our Twin Flame feels familiar, like home, and can agitate us like a twin sibling if we’re not ready to meet them. A soul mate typically comes along with less resistance.

Essentially, a soul mate is the direct opposite of a Twin Flame. Elle asserts that a Twin Flame doesn’t have a match, it’s part of a whole. It’s not a physical being.

“When a soul is incarnated in the physical world, it merely inhabits two human bodies. Those bodies still share the same energetic field. So, there are two bodies in one energetic field. The souls are never separate, despite physical appearances.” ~ Elle Hari

So, can I find my Twin Flame?

Spoiler alert: we can’t really find them in the way most people imagine.

In fact, if we realize that we’re seeking out or looking for our Twin Flame, we’re most likely already pushing them away.

Elle explained: “The only way people will know that they have met their Twin Flame is when they experience Soul Recognition. This is the moment when the soul recognizes itself within the physical body of its Twin Flame. This occurs on the deepest subconscious level. No one can consciously choose when this happens, and this is the very beginning of the twin flame journey. It only happens when the soul is ready.”

She continued, “At Soul Recognition, the shared energetic field becomes polarized—activating the Twin Flame push-and-pull energies, and the journey to self-realization, understanding, and love begins.”

It’s possible to achieve unity with your Twin Flame:
Here’s How >>

The emotions often evoked by the aforementioned Disney version of romance can get in the way of Soul Recognition, along with trauma, and other life distractions. We all have tendencies to seek external validation, cues, and clues that we believe will direct us to the people who either complement or complete us.

These external factors are sought out of fear. They are a temporary fix to an existential gap. Removing that noise is the only way to get in tune with ourselves, and in turn, get in touch with our Twin Flame.

Elle and her team of experts encourage everyone, not just those whose ears are already buzzing with Twin Flame queries, to consciously immerse themselves in self-discovery. Her wealth of knowledge, resources, and particularly her Free Masterclass, contain actionable steps that support us in aligning with our soul’s core energy. Ultimately, we attract what is truly meant for us when we’re able to achieve this—whether that means a soul mate, several soul mates, or our Twin Flame.

I’m glad I found my soul mate, and even happier to know that a Twin Flame journey is about turning inward. It’s not about seeking the unrealistic love stories of the likes of Allie and Noah, or Carrie and Mr. Big, or Harry and Sally. It’s about doing the inner work and introspection that Elle prescribes, and, if we’re fortunate enough, identifying our Twin Flame is the ultimate confirmation that we understand ourselves intimately, deeply, and fully.

“I have felt deeper inner peace for the first time in my life.”
This is Why >>

We may not discover their physical representation in this lifetime, but if we do, our lives will be enriched beyond measure.

Are you ready to meet the most authentic, celestial version of yourself? If you are, you may just meet your Twin Flame, too.

The best place to start? Scheduling a call with the insightful team at Be With Your Twin Flame.


For more on Twin Flames, connect with Elle on Instagram or Facebook.


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