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March 2, 2021

Battling the innate need to be liked

Photo by Trung Nguyen on Pexels.

Let’s talk about the very common yet unhealthy need to be liked by everyone.

I have literally since I can remember, worried what others thought of me. I imagine that many of you reading this can relate.

It is human nature to care how we are perceived by others; and that worry has been amplified by social media as everyone is putting themselves out there opening the door to judgement and gossip. This is yet another reason that leaving socials drastically reduced my anxiety on this topic.

But here is the thing, no matter what we put out there, whether it be on line or just in the real world, it is literally impossible to have everyone like you, and the best part of it is, their opinion of you has nothing to do with you.

This is nothing new, we have all heard this for years and said it to our children, but when you can actually grasp this, it changes your entire thought process.

We all view people and the world through very specific, curated lenses based on our experiences. Also something we have all undoubtedly heard before, but until you give yourself actual scenarios, your brain won’t fully understand or grasp that.

Let me give you an example. Someone can be reading this blog and disliking me because they hate my profile photo, it reminds them of their highschool bully (that b*tch!). Another person may love this message because it is just what they needed to read today after worrying all morning why a friend isn’t texting back. Another example; another may have been offended by my post about alcohol because deep down they know they have a problem they are not ready to face. Where as someone else reading the same post could feel inspired and therefore think fondly of me, I could go on and on, but you get the point. Nothing I have mentioned has anything to do with me. I am putting myself out there in the same manner for everyone; yet everyone will see me completely differently. Lenses.

The key to finding happiness and not worrying what others think, is simply just being the best version of yourself. What exactly does that mean? Well, if you can go to bed at night knowing you did everything up to your personal standard and you were in line with your values and morals, there is quite literally nothing more you can do. The only one who needs to like you, is you.

It took a lot of self help for me to come to this place of not over thinking; the people who value and love you will always be in your corner and the ones who don’t like you, are not your concern. My husband likes to remind me that how others think of me is none of my business; also not a new idea but really let that resonate with you.

You know who you are; just keep being that person, and owning that person, unapologetically.

If you gained any value from this, please share the love.


Simply, Jules

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