March 20, 2021

Dear Men, We Don’t Owe you a Damn Thing—5 Things the Patriarchy has led us to Believe.


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The patriarchy is still alive and well, unfortunately.

And we women are quite simply sick and tired of it.

This a gentle reminder of all the things women don’t owe men, regardless of what society has taught them to believe.

1. Being Grateful For Unwanted Attention

I’m talking about the catcalling, the car beeping, and the wolf-whistling. These things are not compliments. They make us feel extremely uncomfortable.

“You should be grateful for the attention.” Erm, no, actually. We are not obliged to be thankful for attention which we didn’t ask for in the first place.

Seriously, quit it.

2. Seeing You As Anything More Than Friends

Oh, the classic “friend-zone.”

Women are not obliged to see you as anything more than friends. It doesn’t matter if you’re a nice guy or if you think you would be a perfect match. Nobody should be forced to have romantic or sexual feelings for anyone else. If it does happen, great. If not, just appreciate the friendship.

Sure, the friend-zone is a place nobody wants to be in, but if you are just friends with someone just because you want to get something out of it (sex, interest), then you’re probably not a good friend anyway.

Sorry, not sorry.

3. Conversation

If a woman really wants to continue a conversation with you, you’ll be able to tell from our body language. If you’re approaching a woman at a bus stop with small talk and we’re replying to you with one-word answers or diverting our attention elsewhere, then we probably don’t want to talk to you. If we’ve got our headphones on and are trying to walk away, we definitely don’t want to talk.

We don’t owe you a conversation. Even if you approach us with a smile, even if you approach us with a drink or with a compliment. If we are not interested, we aren’t interested. Stop insisting. Be respectful and walk away.

4. Looking “Pretty”

Women don’t owe you pretty.

We are under constant pressure to look perfect. These beauty standards are toxic AF and women are constantly being shamed for not choosing to shave, for not wearing makeup, for wearing makeup, for being too fat, for being too thin, for dressing too sexy, for not dressing sexy enough.

We don’t owe you any explanation for our appearance.

If you don’t like it, your problem.

5. Sex

You would think that in the 21st century, everyone would know that nobody owes anyone sex. Sadly, some men think women owe them sex if they buy them things, pay for dinners, do them favours…the list goes on.

“If you play your cards right, you might get lucky tonight.” Yeah, or maybe not.

Our bodies, our choices. And that goes for every kind of woman (yes, even the ones who wear short skirts)!

No is no.

So, simply put, women owe you nothing. The quicker this is accepted, the quicker we will have a more equal and fair society.

Let’s dismantle the patriarchy once and for all. It’s about bloody time.


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