I still wake up from dreams of you, besides an empty pillow.
I smile and stretch the memory from my body, appreciating the sweet beauty in my heart’s desire.
I used to carry these dreams into my day. I would search for you, reach out and tell you.
Now, I reach for my affirmations and read as many as I need before spending a few more moments resting into my waking state. I know that my energy and my attention are needed by me right now.
I want you to want me—but I need to want me, first.
Because if you ever choose to leave, if I ever choose to leave, if life takes us away from each other—I’ll still be here with me and that needs to feel as free as it did before you walked in.
I want to be okay with every version of myself. To silence the critical voices and keep them from becoming my own.
I need to feel safe in my own body, so I don’t search for safety in yours.
I need to smile at my own reflection without craving approval from yours.
I need to make love to myself, to know my own needs, and feel confident in expressing them freely.
To stand tall, unburdened by the weight of doubt, guilt, and shame.
I want you to want me, but I need to want me, first. Because when you tell me you love me, I want to feel confident in recognizing the healthy, genuine, authenticity of that love.