March 10, 2021

Horny & Guilty: How to Get your Needs Met While Respecting Pandemic Rules. {Advice Column}

~ This is part of a column: Up All Night: the Sex Talk you Need to Read. Head to the author’s page to follow along. Do you have a question? Email Kate here.


Q: I live with housemates, but we’re not close, so I live practically on my own.

I’ve been single most of the pandemic, and have been going on social distance walks, but recently, I broke the rules and have added a guy into my “bubble.”

I’m feeling so much guilt and secrecy around it though! If I go to his house, I feel like I have to pretend I’m seeing a friend who lives alone.

My housemates aren’t perfect, and I’m not sure they’d even care, but how do we handle having needs and respecting the rules, while also not going insane and having a little bit of fun?

~ Horny, (and feeling the guilt!)

A: Girl, you said it! Getting your sexual groove on is a need. I put it up there with food, clothing, and shelter.

It sounds like you have been a strict adherent to pandemic precautions and I applaud you for that. These are scary days, my friend.

That said, it’s impossible to be perfect. As you said, you’ve added a guy into your “bubble,” which tells me you’re being extremely careful, because you have a bubble in the first place.

From what you’ve described, you don’t see your housemates that often, so it sounds like the risk to them is minimal.

However, you are bringing someone else into the equation, which does increase their chance of catching this awful, potentially devastating disease. Everyone deserves the opportunity to consent.

It may be tough, or as you said, they might not even care. It might be best to tell them while it’s still early days with your guy. If things become serious with him, it’ll be all the more difficult to confess.

You’re just doing your best, like all the rest of us. I sense you’re doing a pretty damn good job, too.

Good luck and much love.

~ Kate, The Passion Coach


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Kate McGourty, The Passion Coach  |  Contribution: 150

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