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March 14, 2021

The simple self talk: self love vs narcissism

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels.

What’s the  difference between self-love and narcissism? In this day and age its very hard to spot the deviations. Are we self obsessed, or just loving ourselves unapologetically? Here is a simple way to check yourself, and spot where you need work and healing.

Self love says “I am in touch with my gifts and talents”

While narcissism says “I am the greatest, and there is no room for anyone else”

Self love says “I work hard and manifest good things into my life”

Narcissism says “I am entitled to everything”

Self love says “I extend compassion and kindness to myself”

While narcissism says “I am fearful, full of self-doubt and shame”

Self love says “I own my intentions, behaviours and actions”

While narcissism says “I have very little to no regard of how my actions hurt myself or others”

Self love says “I take accountability”

While narcissism says “I have done nothing wrong, there is nothing to take accountability for”

Self love says “I have healthy boundaries”

Narcissism says “I don’t care about mine or others space. I don’t respect what others need in terms of boundaries”

Self love says “I love my inner child”

Narcissism says “My inner child is fragile and scared”

Self love says “I am willing to confront myself”

Narcissism says “I have nothing to confront”

Self love says “l love you, unconditionally and unequivocally”

Narcissism says “I need external validation to feel love”

The bottom line is that if you find yourself identifying with the latter, if you’ve been traumatized by narcissism as a child, you’re probably carrying a wound inside that has to be healed. As you recognize the early roots of your wounding, you can start to address what was lost and what needs repair now. Instead of living from fear, self loathing, and entitlement, you can come from a more secure, loving, and compassionate place. You deserve to live a life of healthy boundaries, self love and deep understanding of yourself and others.

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Rebecca Kneebone  |  Contribution: 2,500