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Our inner child is the one who cries out to be seen and heard. The one who speaks to us in many ways.
But do we listen to that child? To the stories they tell us?
Do we wonder where their reactions come from? Or why they react this way?
When we are activated or triggered by certain moments, scenarios, or events, we often don’t understand our reaction.
This can be the inner child within our adult body, crying and asking to finally be seen and heard. It could be a reaction to a moment in the child’s life or a feeling that the child has felt many times.
The feeling of not being good enough, not being important enough, or not being worthy of another person’s time.
“Why won’t anyone listen to me?” “Why am I invisible?”
Feelings create many stories. The stories we listen to as children, the stories and characters we watch in movies or on television, the characters in books, and the characters in our lives. All of them have an influence and impact on us when we identify with them, emotionally and sometimes even physically. They create moments that can stay with us on an emotional level and later morph themselves into our lives.
This is our emotional inner child relating to a character in our stories that is playing out in the present moment.
So how can we work with this?
A simple technique is to stop and ask our inner child or our actual child if we are reacting to them. In that moment, we can ask them, “Can you tell me the story of why you really feel this way?” Listen to the instant intuitive answer from your inner child and stay present while listening to your actual child.
Another technique to apply is to check in with our inner child every day, and to ask him or her what she would like to do today.
This is a practice that Louise Hay had openly shared about how her inner child, Lulu, always knew what she needed, and how setting up playdates with Lulu had helped her gain wellness within herself.
I also find that by asking your inner child to tell you a story, you will uncover many gems and nuggets to work with on your self-discovery and transformation journey. After you have listened to a few of your inner child’s stories, you will begin to see a pattern of the characters and the emotional connections to them.
Becoming aware of when you’re activated or triggered by your child will help you gain insights into the reasons you react the way that you do.
Feel your reactions, and then look at your child and feel what they may be feeling in order to see what you’re really reacting to. Could it be that you didn’t get the attention you needed as a child and are reacting to the neediness of your own inner child?
The next time your reaction takes flight, look at the inner child and ask him or her, “What story do you have to tell me?”
You can change the way you react by becoming aware of and willing to meet your stories, and by doing the inner work.
Please note that if for any reason the stories you feel are trauma-related and you feel you can’t do the work on your own, there are professionals who can help you explore your deep traumas. Somatic Experiencing, Inner Child Therapy, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping can all be excellent tools to help you navigate your deep traumas.
I am not a trained therapist nor do I claim to be one. This is just my observation from years of doing the inner work on myself, and holding space for others as they explore their stories that they subconsciously believe.
I am an intuitive wisdom guide. I work with my intuition by seeing the snapshots of stories and how they can play out as patterns and reactions in various situations and moments.
My hope is to help people through my intuitive work.