April 20, 2021

We Must Love Ourselves First—Every Step of the Way.


Lately, there has been a lot out there about growth, evolution, healing, and change.

Some of us are so focused on getting somewhere and being the person who we imagine ourselves to be that we forget that we are already amazing—right now.

I do have to say that I believe imagination is a great tool for us. Through imagination, we can dream about who we want to be and then take steps toward accomplishing these dreams.

But I find that I sometimes get way too caught up in who I want to be and forget to love who I already am. I forget that the person who is working so hard to change and grow is a person who is worth celebrating and is worth love at this moment, no matter what.

To be honest, there may never be a time when we feel that we have “finally made it.” By that, I mean we may have accomplished everything we ever wanted—we eat all the right things, have the right partner, career, children, and house. But life is perfectly imperfect, and it is that way for a reason.

If things were always satisfying, we would never be pushed to evolve into something else. Life is inherently and creatively emerging—all the time, and we are a part of that dance of life.

You may look back and think negatively about who you were before; I know that I sometimes do. But the person I was before is no less than the person I am now. I am proud of her because, at some point, she found the courage to take chances and to follow her dreams, not knowing where she might end up.

You may think that the current you isn’t worth praise, validation, or worth—but you are. The more you realize this, the easier it will be for you to continue on your path. You can’t get anywhere unless you first climb the mountain within yourself. Yes, outwardly, you can accomplish things and check off boxes, but if you never look inside yourself and realize that you are already whole, then what have you really accomplished?

This is easier said than done. We have been conditioned to look outside ourselves for validation from parents, friends, coworkers, and society as a whole. We are social creatures, and we want to be accepted by our own tribe. But in order to be accepted by others, we need to first accept ourselves—our good and bad parts. I also want to elaborate and say that there are no good or bad parts— it is only how we perceive them that we feel one way or the other.

You are worthy of everything right now—in this exact moment.

You can be happy right now if you choose to be (this is not to be confused with toxic positivity). You have everything that you want and need at this moment, I promise you. You are worthy of love, and you are enough.

Sometimes, life can be tough, and we experience doubt about who we are and question our decisions—this is a part of being human. But we can decide what to say and how to feel about ourselves. No one else is going to do this for us.

A friend of mine recently shared this quote:

“I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.” ~ Maya Angelou 

Remember to show some love and to notice what you are saying to yourself.

Be mindful and gentle.


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