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What I found helpful to better handle the big F.
When you see things from the outside, it gets easier.
Ever wondered what it’s like to watch yourself from the outside of a tough situation?
Ever felt like the super almighty when giving advice and instructing others but when it comes to yourself, you are as bad as it can get, in complete and utter hopelessness?
Well, if you haven’t, this will totally be an awkward moment for me. But, throughout my journey on Earth, I have learned to gradually, honestly, and truly practice what I preach—or not preach at all.
I have found that the best way to overcome a storm is to actually go through it. Life’s downs are as essential as its ups. I have learned to appreciate failure—The Big F, which we all dread. I have come to appreciate it deeply because it is like a reset button sometimes.
Failure made me understand and know what is worth fighting for and redoing until we get it right and what I should let go of in order to keep my authenticity while maintaining progress and hope to become the upgraded version of my true self.
Throughout my teen and early adult years, I have struggled with finding my place—fixing my own problems—although I mostly was the one people chose to run to and confide in.
Why this paradox? And how did I manage to get out of this vicious cycle (and still managing to stay out of it)?
Just like the saying “forgiveness is more than saying sorry” and just like every good thing in life, we need to put time and effort there. We all know we need to invest in what matters to us, and to figure that out is a journey by itself.
As a teen, I did not know what I wanted; I was all over the place, maybe at some point a people pleaser, hence what mattered didn’t matter and what didn’t matter mattered. But as I grew up, I started looking within and knowing gradually what I wanted in life and chased it until my last breath.
To face a failure, a setback, a problem, or whatever gets in the way of our goals, we first must feel it—not ignore it.
This sucks, I know, but whether we like to admit it or not, we are emotional beings driven mostly by what we feel—and this is how it should be. Putting away a feeling will not make it go away, and we will end up feeling stuck or too consumed by the tremendous efforts we put to try to vanish it away to exile island.
Now comes the time to observe the situation as if we were listening to a friend and trying to help them, not entirely objectively, but using our minds over our emotions in the process. Understanding the situation better in these settings will guide us into finding our own personal effective advice, own it, and go through with it to save the day—our day.
Now that we got our facts straight and our emotions in line, no matter how tough or challenging the situation might be, it is possible to find a solution, a way out, a way in, or a new perspective that we were too blind to see before.
Bottom line, buckle up; life is a roller coaster of emotions, failures, successes, and the only constant in it is change.
Embrace every feeling, find your way in the happy times, work your way around the negative ones after processing, then soar like you were meant to and more!