While talking about acceptance is far easier than actually getting down to doing it, it’s still a reality.
It’s still something that needs to be absorbed and dealt with.
It becomes far more difficult to accept people and situations the way they are when we are able to see a different way of being. When we are able to see the “potential” of them being different and that difference is in alignment with what we would like them to ideally be—facing the reality of what actually is, feels like a chilly, biting wind blowing across the face.
It hits hard. It starts breaking you down into a million pieces because accepting them for who or what they also means letting go of your own wants and desires.
That’s what makes acceptance tough. That’s why we want to run away from it.
That’s why we struggle to accept “acceptance” in itself—conceptually and practically.
Acceptance and letting go are twin sides of the same coin.
When you accept “what it is,” you have to let go of “what it isn’t and what it could possibly be.”
“Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting the things that cannot be.” ~ Anonymous
And it hurts, doesn’t it?
What you’re letting go of is a piece of your life, a page from your diary, a fragment of your dreams, a part of your heart.
You’re letting go of something that belongs to you and could have been more.
Yet, it isn’t.
And it’s the desire to avoid the pain that comes with facing and absorbing the “what is,” that makes us cling to the hope and desire, that one day it might become more than “what it is.”
The more we cling, the more it hurts.
“Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to let go and then do it.” ~ Ann Landers
So yes, accepting the “what is” isn’t easy at all. Yet, at times, needs to be done.
And when we begin to look at what we have to accept, we also open doors to letting go.
So how do we accept? How do we make the pain go away?
We can learn to accept and embrace the pain that comes with it.
We have to sit with the discomfort till it sinks in, and once it does, we must let go—in bits and pieces.
Perhaps, what can enable us to create this shift toward letting go is recognizing the possibilities that exist for us, once we open this door.
Perhaps, the awareness, realization, and absorption of the reality that the “what is” isn’t serving us and the possibility of more will only be in our mind would help us to close certain doors and move toward opening new ones.
Perhaps, it’s about choosing one desire over another.
One possibility over another.
Perhaps, it’s about making room for a different kind of “more.”
“Accepting is hard. But sometimes, holding on is harder.” ~ Anonymous
More on acceptance from Damini: 4 Ways Non-Acceptance can Destroy our Lives.