June 22, 2021

Those Who are Not “The One” are our Greatest Teachers.


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As those who have been bold enough to embrace online dating, you can understand the exhausting challenge of connection.

We are such strange creatures. Those of us who instantly connect only to find there is no real true connection at all when you finally meet in person. Why does that happen?

Those of us who seek something with depth, we struggle in this type of dating environment where we long for a true, deep connection, but unfortunately, the people we are connecting with are also connecting with many others who are looking for the same thing.

When we do find we are connected to someone, at least through messaging or on the phone, we are super hopeful that this will be the one who rescues us from this dark, shallow hole of online dating.

Sometimes online dating can skew our reality and makes us wonder if the relationships we gave up in the past were really worth letting go of. Is it possible we may be able to get that spark back, fix those pesky, little issues, or resolve some of the bigger things that have led to the demise?

We may try to revisit old relationships in hopes that things have changed, that they have changed, that we have changed, and that all the issues that once existed are somehow magically gone.

Oh, that is such wishful thinking. Isn’t it?

In the beginning, the excitement of revisiting something that once felt familiar can be really enticing. Remember this; oh, yeah, remember that time; oh, how I miss this or that! Yep, it’s so precious, isn’t it?

But reality screeches like nails on a chalkboard; they say one little thing, and it brings it all back—all of it. Every single little thing that drove you mental, pissed you off, hurt your feelings, made you question your own reality. You are feeling it 10 times worse now, today, in this moment.

Now reality hits, what in the world am I doing? I am going backward.

Not cool.

Instead of the online dating dread…
Instead of looking backward…
Instead of revisiting something that was destined to end…

Shift your perspective to one of excitement, comedy, and appreciation for the opportunity to meet lots of people who are all in the same exact boat as us.

Be grateful that there are platforms out there that bring people together so they don’t have to muscle through life alone.

Laugh at the stories that you can now tell all your friends over drinks. Like the one about the guy who sent you d*ck pics, a dirty video of himself, and a meme with a donut and a banana (yes, this happened). This story made many people happy, so my friends, you are welcome!

Life isn’t about the outcome; it’s about how we get there, so why not have fun while getting there?

Let’s let these people we meet show us what we do and do not want, teach us who we feel good around, and where we may need to do some work on ourselves.

Let’s dive into each and every moment because these moments are the ones that really matter.

Why not enjoy them? Once they are gone, we can’t get them back.



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