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Taking off our clothes can start a wild love affair, not with the newest dating prospect we’ve eyed up on the latest app—but with ourselves.

Like many of us, when we hop in and out of the shower, we see a bit of skin from one angle, or maybe some extra fat we’d rather not have, and as we wash our face, glance in the mirror, put on make up, and get ready for the day—we continue to criticize ourselves.

On the contrary, when we’re not present, we barely see ourselves. As we brush our teeth, we might be thinking about the list of chores we’ve got lined up for the day, barely noticing our own reflection.

When do you ever get naked—with yourself—for the sake of it?

Like really just look at yourself in the mirror and appreciate your body, your face, and the mere fact that you are alive?

Probably not often, or dare I say ever.

The relationship you have with yourself is constant, you can never be without yourself. It stands to reason that this is the most important relationship you could possibly ever have.

Somehow, we tend to forget ourselves as we are busy tending to everyone and everything else in our lives. When we do remember ourselves, there is a feeling of being incomplete in some way, of needing to fix ourselves to gain external validation.

There is too much emphasis placed on doing and buying more stuff in the hopes of feeling whole. This is what advertising leads us to think. When really, all we need to do is be more present with ourselves.

To love ourselves first, as we are, all flaws included.

I think as a society it would do us a ton of good if we normalized self-love, not as something selfish or as spiritual “woo woo,” but as an important priority for fundamental self-care and well-being.

This isn’t taught in school. I don’t remember the class in high school on how to accept and love yourself. Gosh, that would have been helpful in my adolescent years. Instead, I was constantly feeling pressured and judged, and I became my own worst critic.

This is why Tantra is appealing to me. You get to be yourself. No hiding, no pressure, just acceptance. Often people hear Tantra and think kinky sex. I’m here to offer a more holistic understanding. Tantra is an ancient spiritual practice, the main focus being awareness, presence, acceptance, and self-love.

When we become Tantric, we begin to peel back the layers we’ve been hiding under, we let go of the judgment so we feel a bit safer to simply—be ourselves. This is what I teach my clients in my coaching practice.

Fulfillment isn’t found in a shopping mall. Living life the way we desire, dreaming big, speaking our truth, and creating an abundant and fulfilling life starts from within.

True happiness and freedom is found when you remember to really love yourself first.

Getting naked with yourself is an act of radical reclamation. Whether you look in a mirror and cry, scream, laugh, self-pleasure, or hold yourself in a warm embrace—you are taking back your power. This is the love affair you’ve been yearning for when you’ve felt incomplete.

You are doing the one thing that will ignite more love in your life than anything else could. Making the time to be with yourself, you finally recognize the love you’ve been searching for has been there all along, staring back at you from the mirror.

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