July 20, 2021

When you Meet Someone who’s afraid to Love.


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Would you Surrender Yourself to Love?

There was something about him the first time I saw him.

We sat down for a cup of coffee, and we couldn’t stop talking as though we had known each other for years.

It made no sense for me to feel this warm connection with someone I just met—a stranger. Needless to say, neither of us addressed this matter and continued enjoying each other’s company.

The more we shared about ourselves, the more essence this encounter had in store for us. It wasn’t just about the topics we covered; it was about everything, starting from the silliest to the most tangible coincidences, like our dislike for whipped cream or how we talked about our younger siblings.

He had this charm about him he didn’t even know he had, and every time he smiled at me, I couldn’t help but smile back. There was something I couldn’t quite put my finger on: whenever he started talking passionately about something, you could see the left corner of his mouth turn up with his lips pursed together as though hiding a sincere smile with a quality of genuine reassurance in it.

However, the most fascinating thing was the way he challenged me with his questions and how eager he was to hear what I had to say. But that wasn’t all—he would then share his perspective on the matter at hand and make me reassess my answer (without him even knowing it).

Distinctively, you could sense how ambitious he was and how hard he was willing to work to achieve success. He definitely wanted to be the best, but at the same time, he was humble. This kind stranger looked up to people who overcame so many obstacles to become who they are today and admired their perseverance.

This is what I got to know about him from our first encounter, and I had only touched the surface of who this man truly was. I was so looking forward to getting to know all of him, except, little did I know, it was going to be more difficult than I thought.

As we spent more time together, I felt so lucky to have found such a generous and warmhearted gentleman. Simultaneously, I noticed some kind of resistance that wasn’t accounted for—the deeper the connection, the harder it was to overlook this cavity.

Never did I think I would meet a man who was afraid to be in love. Never did I think I would meet a man who didn’t want to share his worries or troubles as not to put me down. Never did I think I would meet a man who always wanted to be in control.

Even though many people believe that falling in love is an accidental occurrence, but in spiritual reality, it is not—it is the entrance point to love’s journey: the love of the other and the love of the self.

Usually, romance turns into a committed relationship—this is when falling in love is over and being in love begins. The word being is when a couple learns how to nurture each other through surrender. The surrender of the ego will help you find passion. When you let go of all your selfish attachments, it is then that passion ignites.

So how could this man break down his walls to let me in? How could he surrender, while at the same time, not feel as though he had lost? How could he be convinced that the miracle of love is imperfect and still be completely whole in the eyes of his lover?

To surrender yourself is to expose your vulnerable, fragile, conflicted self to someone else. This is no easy step, and choosing to do so will definitely take time, but when you love the other person, you would want to walk into the light and offer yourself to your beloved, and so you take a risk on love.

No one said it was going to be a walk in the park: things will be tough sometimes, and you will choose the familiarity of fear and lovelessness over the vulnerability of love, until you finally feel safe enough to try love again. If two people come from love, no matter how much they have to overcome, eventually they will build a safe place for them to emerge.

So to have found love that isn’t based on a fantasy of romance or a fear of missing out should bring you content, as your partner wants to make things easier on you, make you feel loved and cared for, and support you to be the best you can be.

Consider leaving the door cracked—maybe the wind might actually blast it open, and you can finally find your peace.



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