Gran died at home 10 days after a fall that broke her pelvis.
Two months prior, she had come to me in a dream saying, “Polly, I need help.”
I was on a plane two weeks later from remote Northern India to California.
When I arrived, I could see in her translucent blue eyes that she was going, and I resolved to make her last days on Earth as fun as possible.
“Come on, Gran. Get in the chair. We’re getting you out of here,” I say.
I push her in the wheelchair out the automatic double doors and into the bright California sun.
“Oh, Pol, this is so much fun!” She says, happy to be outside and on an adventure.
In the car, she sings along with my Indian chanting music, making up the words in English.
I packed us picnics and took her to the Oakland Redwoods, Alameda Beach Park, and Temescal Lake.
She was much more “mindful” than I was and pointed out everything that she saw.
The day before her last breath I feel her leave.
One of her caregivers is from Bhutan and sees me chanting with my mala at Gran’s bedside as Gran slips away.
“Good Polly, very good, you are chanting and clearing the space for your Grandmother to transition,” she says.
I watch Gran breathe as I chant.
The next morning, her body stops breathing.
“Grief is really just love. It is all the love you want to give but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corner of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and the hollow of your chest. Grief is just love with nowhere to go.” ~ Jamie Anderson
On the day of Gran’s cremation, my brother and I brought her pink gerberas and laid them on her chest in her casket as we chanted on our knees.
We both felt something shift—like Gran got the green light to go.
It’s been almost three years since she crossed over, and even though I work as a spiritual medium and have a strong connection with the other side, I still cry as I write this.
I miss my Gran in the physical, and maybe I always will.
However, we talk every day as I light her candle and bring her fresh flowers that I place in front of a selfie we took on one of our beach picnics. We both wear big smiles and wide-brimmed straw sun hats.
She comes through often in my dreams, and during the day, I feel her in the little blue bird that sits on the wire as I write outside on my verandah.
It feels important to share these messages from my Gran and countless others that I have communicated with on the other side, hoping that it may help ease the grief.
Ten messages your loved ones on the other side want you to know:
1. I am okay.
Once we leave these bodies, our ailments, our sicknesses, and all of what was plaguing us in these bodies disappear. Our souls may have more work to do, but as soon as people cross over, if they go directly to the light, they drop the sickness, and they want you to know that they’re okay.
2. I love you.
When I do readings, almost everyone who comes through wants us to know—they love you. You are important to them.
3. I forgive you.
The guilt and grief that we are carrying aren’t necessary. They want us to let go of that now and tune into our heart and our connection with them that is still right here. The grief and the guilt are what is separating us from them. They want us to know that they forgive us.
4. Please forgive me.
If there was a situation where they were harmful to us, the most amazing thing we can do for them is to forgive them. As soon as we do, it clears all of that lower frequency energy, and we can start to develop a new relationship with them on the other side.
5. I’m sorry.
They have so much sadness for not being able to say they were sorry. They want us to know that they’re sorry for anything that they did that might have harmed us.
6. I’m safe, and I’m doing really well.
When I see people on the other side, they’ll be sitting in their favorite chair and having a cup of tea if that is what they used to do in life. They really are how they were in this lifetime, but they’re the best versions of themselves. Know that they’re safe, and they are in a good place.
7. Thank you.
Our loved ones on the other side want us to know how grateful they are for everything that we helped them to do.
8. You did everything that you could.
We always wish we could have done more. However, they want us to know that what we did do is appreciated.
9. I am with you and I hear you.
The separation between this side and the other side is very thin. We may think that our loved ones are gone, but they’re really not. They’re not in their physical container anymore, but who they are is still right here with us. It’s really important for us to realize that, although they’re not in a body anymore, their spirit is still right here with us.
10. Yes, that was me.
We may have had an inkling that our loved one is around. Every single time we have that feeling, they want us to know that it was them. When our arm hairs stand up on end or a sudden breeze comes out of nowhere when we were thinking about them, or a bird pops in, or a song comes on that reminds us of them. Yes, that was them.
Now that we know these messages, it is important to take the next step by saying, “Hi, I’m here. I would love to connect with you.”
Think about it like picking up the phone and making a phone call to them. Pick up the phone, dial their number and start talking. They will hear us and it is easier for them to reciprocate when we start the conversation.
We will most likely dream about them soon or get a crystal clear sign that they are with us.
Remember, they’re not gone. They have shifted out of their body container and will appear in a way that they know we will best understand.