I’ll start this article with a question.
How many of you have heard of a love a story where the guy has said, “I just knew when I laid eyes on her that she was the one?”
It’s quite amazing, and it’s because men usually know within the first three minutes, if not the first 30 seconds of meeting someone, whether this could be a lifetime relationship, a friendship, potentially just a fling, or a little fun for a while. Deep within their gut they know.
Men are intuitive, and this is because the enteric nervous system uses more than 30 neurotransmitters, just like the brain, and in fact, 95 percent of the body’s serotonin is found in the bowels, so in essence, they always trust their gut instincts and follow their intuition.
So, what happens next? He gets to know you, of course.
I’m sure all the lovely ladies reading this have gathered that most men simply cannot multitask. That means that when they are concentrating on a task, all of their attention is on that one task at hand. For example, when they watch football, they are fully in the game and that’s why they can recall who scored, when, and remember that goal for years to come.
When they are getting to know us, all of their attention is on us. They will listen intently to every detail: our likes, dislikes, and where we see ourselves in five years. He wants to assess whether he sees himself going in a similar direction.
So, ladies, represent yourself accurately. This is where we need to be honest with what we want and are looking for, because he wants to know if what we are looking for, he will be able to provide.
“Can I make her happy?”
“Can I give her what she needs?”
Being providers is ingrained in their essence of being, even if you can look after yourself. You may be able to pay your own rent, but you need someone to help you with DIY and the upkeep of the house, someone to cuddle and rub your back. He wants you to tell him that. He wants to do that for you. But, if he does and you don’t appreciate it, he will stop and that will be the end of that.
Don’t prove to men that you don’t need them because you are independent. This doesn’t make you more attractive, as men are looking for a partner who needs what they have to give. Their purpose is to give, and feel, and see, and in giving, seeing how happy that makes you, it brings them a feeling of accomplishment.
The best return on investment is to make the woman that they are with happy, while feeling empowered.
One thing a man will never do is make things fit. When something feels off, they simply won’t pursue it further, because they will already have gathered that they cannot give you what you’re looking for.
You may be the perfect woman for him, but he might lose interest if you’re not giving him the information he needs in order for him to know that you’re the right person.
Do you want what he naturally has to give?
If you can’t be made happy with what he has to give, it sends the message that he can’t afford you. It’s about finding a happy medium not only for him, but for both of you as a couple.
With all that said, can he get what he needs from you?
Men preserve energy, and as we have gathered, they only do something when it’s worthwhile and they get a return on their energy and time invested. So, when they are looking for something, they want to find it all in one place: sex, food, and ladies; men always need help finding things and we do that brilliantly.
Men look at whether you can give him the quality of attention he seeks, acknowledging and appreciating him. Is what he’s doing right, or are you picking fights or being critical about what he is doing wrong?
You become the wrong person when you don’t make time for him, fail to give him the attention he desires, or show him that you don’t have room for him in your life.
If you have just started dating, make space in your calendar for him.
Attention is the relationship and if you don’t have the attention, there is no relationship.