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August 13, 2021

From East to West Coast: This is what Men Truly Want in the One.


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He stands on the beach in a small town in New Jersey, watching the sunrise.

He holds a surfboard under his arm, waiting for the perfect moment to take his first wave of the day. As he waits, he closes his eyes, thinking of her before he runs his muscular body into the chilly ocean.

He is wishing for love.

From the coast of New Jersey, up over the hills, past the woods, passing through the dense fog of the Bay Area, just across the street from your favorite café into sunny California, men all over the world are searching for love.

Men are just as confused about love as women. Men are just as curious about love as women. Men want to find the love of their life—their soulmate, just like women.

They know what they want. They know what they need. They are looking for love.

A friend of mine once said he couldn’t choose a partner based on a picture. He said, “How do I know if I can laugh with her, or if she is the type of person who laughs a lot? I want someone I can laugh with.”

Men want women who allow themselves to be silly. Men want women who use their shirts as pajamas. This is not about us taking notes on male fantasies so we can pose as Betty Boop with a face full of makeup and a tiny dress. This is about love, connection, and meaningful partnerships.

It could be much easier for women if we are willing to simply ask men: what are your thoughts? What do you genuinely want from a partner in your life? Not to play a character based on his wants and needs, but to see if our values, boundaries, beliefs, and standards could be a match, instead of playing stupid games that only add to the prejudice that we believe could help us understand this world.

“Men and women do want the same things. We just need each other to bring it out. That’s really the truth of the matter.” ~ Steve Harvey

This is about real men sharing their feelings, opening their hearts, and speaking up. This is about women being willing to hear what men think instead of making assumptions. This can help us build genuine communication between us.

After gathering information from handsome men from the East to the West Coast and even other countries around the world, this will blow your mind. It is surprising what they had to say. It was definitely fun and insightful diving into their chest.

Diving straight into men’s hearts, this is where it gets really good. We might need a strong matcha tea for this next part.

Creativity and a safe space to come home to.

“This is what men want, whether they say it or not. They want an intelligent woman. They want someone who will challenge them. They may say they want a beautiful woman to care for them and this and that, but what we really want is confidence. Swagger. A different degree for each man. Yes, women want the man or the rock but more often than not, we need it just as much.”

“I love that women are creators; they are vessels. They embody what it means to create.”

“I want to share my life with someone who creates safe spaces. A safe space for us to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. A safe space for vulnerability. A woman who will join me in creating a safe space for us, creating our home.”

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Responsibility and commitment.

“A woman who’s self-empowered and secure within herself, not only looking to the other person for support. Someone who can hold space for me and accept me just as I am. I don’t need a mother or a disciplinarian. Just a good friend.”

“With all honesty, I don’t agree with expecting specific things from a person. But I do value compromise. Commitment can hold together any relationship. Love can be absent at times; we can’t love someone 1,000 percent every day, all day. But having a commitment to the relationship is the most solid foundation.”

Resilience and love that is real.

“I look for a woman who is real, pure, smart, strong, and more than anything, who is resilient. A woman who is willing to get up every single time or move in a different direction every time she falls. She wouldn’t be afraid to be real and get her hands dirty. Someone who isn’t after an abstract pink version of love, but after something real.”

“I want a love that like her, is real.”

Openness and honesty.

“I want and need directness. I’m not a mind reader. There needs to be openness and transparency, but at the same time, I do like a bit of a challenge.”

“What I want is attention, confidence but not arrogance (insecurity is such a turnoff), laid back (gotta take life in stride, laugh at yourself and me, roll with the punches), realize I am not in competition with you (I am on your side), sex (it really is that important), spontaneity, down to earth, not high maintenance, sometimes beautiful, sometimes pretty, sometimes sexy, sometimes cute, and of course…kisses!”

“I want companionship, a partner whom I can trust and am never afraid to speak what’s on my mind.”

“We want everything. Someone who looks good. Sex is good. Fun to be around in public and when it’s just the two of us. To have common interests and similar goals in life.”

Hearted by and 1 other reader

Independence and fairness.

“I think love can be found anywhere, regardless of logic. But things that stick and people whom I find myself most drawn to are those who are really independent of thought and strength of will. Someone with a mind of her own. This is both because it gives me something to figure out and also just because I must have an equal partnership.”

“Consent, respect, and fairness matter to me. I don’t love naivety or anyone playing dumb or pressuring someone. I like people looking to share equal power.”

“I’m drawn to people who look at the world in a way that compliments my planning-pattern mind. I love dreamers, artists, writers, dancers, and just anyone who lets go of rules to create. I struggle to do these things, so I really find myself loving someone who brings my passion for this out.”

Fun and passion about life.

“I love someone who is willing to live outside her comfort zone for life and try new things. That isn’t rooted in things or items as a maxim for life but in experiences, love, and people. To connect with someone who truly loves life and does her best for herself and others.”

A woman who needs me and wants connection.

“It’s a sense of being needed. I want to be able to be there to help. It is not to say there is anything wrong with independent women, but I want to feel needed. And sex is important.”

“It’s a physical attraction at first. I need to have that physical attraction that brings me in. After that, connection. If we have a connection, I’m hooked. It’s all in her eyes.”

Femininity and their willingness to just feel it all.

“I love most women’s femininity, their softness, and their willingness to just feel things.”

“I want to share my life with someone who is willing and able to be fully honest with her emotions, who accepts my radically honest expression of my emotions.”

There is a misconception that men are players, but in fact, men just know what they want and they will date and relate until they find what they are looking for in a woman. He may break a few hearts along the way, but it is not the purpose. He is trying to find the one.

“Where there is love there is life.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Men date and keep dating because like women, they won’t give up until they find the one—the one they are destined to love with all their heart.

He doesn’t rush it. He doesn’t force it. He takes his time until one day, he finds her, and she finds him.

Men don’t dream about the perfect wedding day. Men dream about finding the right woman for them.

Men are pretty simple. They want connection. They want a love that is real. They don’t want a wife just to have a wife. They want a lover to call their own, forever.

He longs to feel heard, special, and valued for who he is.

Once he finds love, it’s game on. There is nothing he won’t do for his true love.

After all, men want the exact same thing as women. They’re both a little scared, neither one prepared. They just want to love.

If we listen closely, we can hear the beat of his heart. His chest is f*cking pounding hard to find Love.

He will never give up.


For more from Sharon.

For more from Michelle


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Sharon D. & Michelle G.

author: Sharon D. & Michelle G.

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