August 29, 2021

Maybe your friend Isn’t “Toxic.”

Every time you meet up it’s exhausting.

It seems every week your friend has managed to accumulate a new set of complaints about their life. It’s always drama; there’s never settled dust; everything is always on edge with a situation that leaves your friend and you down and out, hopeless, troubled, and deeply upset and stressed.

Before you decide to part ways with a friend we can easily label as “toxic,” maybe we need to take a step back and think if our friend is as strong as we are. Maybe our friend doesn’t have the skill set to bounce back up from setbacks.

What if they’ve never had any support growing up, no guidance, no knowledge of how powerful positive thinking and gratitude can change their life? Did it ever occur to you that maybe you are the healer, the support, and guidance your friend needs, and without you, who else would they have to help them to see the light in their situation?

This isn’t codependence, but we all came into this world without a manual on life, and some of us were left to fight and defend for ourselves. Maybe there are ones who really need that extra hand to hold them through the rough times.

If someone is totally unaware that what we focus on expands and that our minds are powerful and our inner thoughts create our outer reality, only the spiritually aware can guide them.

Sometimes it is overwhelming when a friend is complaining about being unhappy in their job for the 20th time and your advice that they have the power to change their life has yet fallen again on deaf ears. That they indeed do have the power to take control of their life and make that change toward a job/relationship/place that makes them happy. But perhaps they have heavily preconditioned beliefs in their subconscious mind from early childhood that everything was an obstacle, or the set belief that “life is hard,” or a fear of the unknown and that making changes is scary.

We all cross paths in life for a reason. Some as teachers, some as lessons, and sometimes some of us are “levelled” up, more consciously expanded than others.

Maybe the particular friend is not exactly toxic, but in need of conscious expansion and looking at life in a different way.

It could be that simple coffee together, that five-minute phone call, that simple text telling them everything will be alright and they got this, that they are strong has helped them in so many ways. To you it might look like it hasn’t made any impact—but for your friend, it is just what they needed to hear today.

Being a empath with a healing nature and a spiritual outlook on life can draw many people toward you that may need healing, but instead of seeing this as a curse, maybe you should feel wonderful, special, and appreciate that you have been chosen to be of service to others—that in this world, some people need a soul like yours.


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So before you decide to cut ties with a friend, be patient and ask yourself, “Is my friend really toxic, or is my friend just in need of my support and healing?”

You may have the power in your hands to change a person’s life for the better and be the guide they need to direct them on their journey and slowly becoming a stronger, more confident person who looks at the brighter side of life.

Before we dispose of our friends we claim are toxic, we need to ask ourselves, “Are we being selfish?”

Maybe we need to give this person a chance because they need our strength—a friend like us—or else they could fall apart without us in their lives.



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