August 27, 2021

The Art of being Screwed: How to Fail like a Rockstar.


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Failure is not an option for me. I’ve spent years developing a strategy on how not to fail.

Yet failure is what brought me the most success.

As a young girl, I literally failed at everything. Every area of my life was a complete and utter failure. I wasn’t smart. I wasn’t sociable. I wasn’t athletic.

That constant failure is what pushed me to succeed. Repeated failure and knowing failure all too well was the drive to push me beyond what I was capable of achieving.

The repeated failure is what I actually needed to teach myself in order not to become a failure. Makes no sense, right? But it is the truth of the matter. I refuse to go down a failure, yet I accept every failure as my stepping stone to get me my best life.

Failure taught me lessons in how to work harder for what I want.

As a less-than-average student in high school, education became important to me as an adult. Not just college but continuing education all throughout my adult life in order to keep myself knowledgeable.

Failing as a high school student taught me that just because I wasn’t naturally smart, it didn’t mean I couldn’t teach myself how to be smart.

I learned how to study and ace exams in college. I dedicated my spare time to read about the world around me so I could hold a conversation in my everyday life. I took continuing education classes so I could stay sharp in my career. I not only got smart; I excelled.

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is a delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~ Denis Waitley

We can accomplish a lot as long as we work hard to get there regardless of how many times we might fail along the way.

Failure taught me not to take anything for granted.

I take every failure as an opportunity and hold on to it for dear life. I appreciate all that it might or might not be regardless of the outcome. I examine everything that it is or is not to determine if there is any use for it in my life. Most of the time, I can find a lesson to be learned. I admire all that it has to offer. There is always something good in there somewhere. We just need to really dig deep and find it.

Every failed relationship had a lesson to be learned.

I believe everything happens for a reason. So with that, I’m open to appreciating the failures as gifts.

“When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.” ~ Ellen DeGeneres

We can accept every failure as a lesson and be grateful for the opportunity it has to teach us.

Failure can also redirect our original goals. Maybe we wanted to be a rockstar but we realize we can’t sing. So we became a drummer instead.

Failure taught me healthy competition.

The non-athletic younger me would never have, not in a million years, competed against anyone for any reason. I knew I couldn’t run fast enough. I knew I couldn’t hit a ball. I sure as hell couldn’t dunk a basketball. Why would I ever humiliate myself by even attempting to compete, knowing full well I wasn’t able to succeed? But it’s not about succeeding; it’s about participating and completing something to the best of my ability.

Yet, the adult me uses competition as a way to push myself to be my best self. With training and practice, I was able to run a half marathon, crush a triathlon, and row my little heart out in a dragon boat regatta.

I didn’t win or come in first place, but I was able to keep up and do rather well in each activity. And I realized just how much I loved every part of it.

I use the competition to challenge myself. No one said I was any more athletic than I was when I was a kid. But now, at least I try.

“Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever.” ~ Lance Armstrong

We can train and practice to conquer every goddamn failure that comes our way. Failure can also teach us what our boundaries are. Maybe we discover we can’t swim, so we nix the triathlon and do a duathlon instead.

Failure taught me about resilience. For every failure, I recover quicker. Each recovery makes me fierce. Even when the failure hits me hard, I stand back up.

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” ~ Robert F. Kennedy

Let’s learn from failure to overcome it no matter how terrible it may feel at the time.

Failure taught me strength. Repeated failure provided me with the power to be strong enough to push forward in any area of my life. What is the worst that can happen? I can fail? I’ve been there before. That doesn’t scare me at all. I can only go up from here. I’m the strongest I’ve ever been. Even those failures that knock the wind out of me.

It is the power to get the hell back up after we fall. That is strength.

“It’s not how far you fall, but how high you bounce that counts.” ~ Zig Ziglar

Failure taught me responsibility. I am proud of all my failures. It just means I put the effort into at least trying. I don’t blame circumstances or the world around me. I accept that there are a million things I can’t succeed at. But I also know what I need to do to succeed. I am responsible for all my failures and successes, even those failures that make my head spin.

It is only we who can get ourselves where we need to be.

“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” ~ Henry Ford

Failure taught me respect. I decided a long time ago to respect failure. It was there for a reason. I don’t hate it. I don’t fear it. I respect the reason for being there and silently thank all that it has to offer in my life, including those failures that mock me.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” ~ Thomas A. Edison

Respect the abilities failure has to offer.

Failure taught me confidence. I have the power to overcome anything in my life. Anything—f*king thing. It is not cocky. It is not narcissistic. It is plain old confidence. It’s the power to try even though I may fail. Being able to overcome my fears about failure provides me with the drive to try just about anything.

I will try to do the unthinkable just because I’m pretty secure in myself that no matter what happens, it’s going to be okay, including those failures that break my heart.

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” ~ Jack Canfield

Be confident in everything you do.

Failure means we have the courage to take a chance. Don’t ever stop taking chances.

Failure means we have the goddamn guts to fight for what we want. Keep fighting to the end.

Failure means we are willing to be wrong to be original. Find your originality.

Failure means we dare to make our dreams come true. Be sure to dream big.

Failure means standing up for ourselves in what we believe in. Believe and have faith.

Failure means we are not scared. Be brave.

The best of us are failures. I encourage everyone to fail. It just may be what we need to achieve the unimaginable.

Let’s fail our way to our best f*cking lives.


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