September 28, 2021

20 Years Ago, I was told I needed “Fixing”—what I’ve learned about Life & Choice since Then. 


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“I create and have a choice in how my life is unfolding.”

Does this sound true for you?

Choice is a decision. Simple in truth, but often it’s a challenge to come to these decisions. We have so many parts in our past, others we need to consider, and possible outcomes that should be weighed up. But we still have choice. In the end, a decision is made, and that becomes the choice we live with.

Recently, with time on my hands due to a lockdown, I reflected back on the stepping stones that highlighted this for me—the stepping stones that have created the life I now live.

It was an interesting indulgence, seeing the struggles and the opposing triumphs as specific points on my journey. I chose to see the various stages and consider the many aspects of my life.

Twenty-something years ago, I was told I needed fixing.

I believe now that everything is a vibration, and that at that time I was manifesting an unhealthy marriage, low self-esteem, and a dead-end idea of what my life was to become.

If I hadn’t been receptive to the possibility of a different way of living, I could now be dead. Instead, I chose to challenge my beliefs and open my mind and heart to possibility.

I stopped seeing myself as trapped, or a victim fueled by the poison of self-hatred.

I chose to stand up and be accountable for my life, my thoughts, the consequences of what I had co-created with family and friends. It quickly became apparent just how screwed up I was.

I chose to hear the universe’s prompts. Following the small prompts—to study different healing modalities, move cities, then countries, meet new people—has been pivotal to my growth. A larger prompt came when clients began asking me to write my first book, which started this writing and publishing journey.

I chose to explore my past, learnt how to not personalise all that others said and did, and was open to hearing and seeing other’s points of view.

I can now see how everyone is doing the best that they can with the resources, stories, and fears they carry. This realisation alone enabled me greater empathy, compassion, and patience toward others.

It was my choice to challenge myself to live from a space of love, the best way possible in each moment, with self-respect, bringing comfort to many others, and helping them to feel something different in this world of shut down.

I chose to come home to me, follow my gut instincts, unravel my mind, and detach from my ego and fears. This resulted in many interesting discussions, lessons, and experiences that I would never have had if I’d stayed stuck.

Not relying on others for my peace, joy, and sense of connection has made my life fuller and richer.

I chose to listen to the voice telling me to sit down and write, to put my thoughts onto paper, and share them with the world. This process alone has opened up a world of insights.

Writing four books has led to me living a more authentic life—with purpose. I am told by those who have read them that they were incredibly healing.

Life is the result of successive choices. We are given literally millions of opportunities to make life-changing decisions every day.

The question then arises: “Do you make them consciously, or from a knee-jerk, hidden, limiting belief that holds you back in a painful pattern of an unfulfilled life?”

Life doesn’t change unless we choose to accept the challenges that come with change. It’s a process, a journey, and one that takes us deep into ourselves, asking us to clean up our inner space, and clear out parts of our past. It isn’t a punishment. It’s about growing stronger, and enabling the life force to flow into our experiences with greater purpose and ease.

We are to prune the dead, unneeded, unhealthy, and intrusive parts that interfere with our life now. As with a good garden tidy up, there is work to be done. It requires planning, and at times calling in professional help along the way. You may need to rip out larger plants, boulders, or dead trunks to make space for the new plants to grow. It might not be easy, but is necessary to ensure your garden develops as you desire.

It’s the same with our life—what we focus on and celebrate expands.

Start with imagining what you would like your life to look, feel, and be like. Regularly sit in a quiet space and listen to your thoughts, or to a guided meditation that helps you reconnect with yourself again.

Our inner voice is our highest wisdom. It always has our best intentions at heart, and trusting it is the easiest decision making process there is.

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