September 9, 2021

Dear People of Planet Earth who Still Choose Not to get the F*cking Vaccine.

*Warning: wickedly liberal use of the f-bomb follows. And, if you have a different take on this, we welcome other mindful opinions here.

“Oh my fucking God, get the fucking vaccine already, you fucking fucks.”

When I saw that headline by Wendy Molyneux, in all caps, no less, I knew this was a writing prompt for me; and a girl after my own literary heart.

However, as Elephant Journal takes a more mindful approach, I knew I wouldn’t get away with using that brilliant headline, and let’s be real here, “Oh my f*cking God, get the f*cking vaccine already, you f*cking f*cks,” just doesn’t pack the punch of the McSweeney’s full-on fucking magnificent headline.

Her article is well worth the read. Especially if you, like me, cannot grasp the concept of people choosing not to get vaccinated. Let me qualify that a bit. I’m referring to: humans living in this world among other humans; humans who are medically able to be vaccinated; and humans who would rather believe any (and all bullshit) because whatever excuse they prefer over what is right.

Sure, I could go with the “reach beyond the choir” method and try to calmly educate and inform those who still have hesitations. But that’s not me.

As an editor, I have to bite my tongue occasionally and edit articles that are basically “hey y’all, let’s hold their hands and walk them calmly through their fears” when it comes to vaccines—but as a writer, no.

If this were January of this year, with all the absolute fuckery that was going on with the election results, and the amount of misleading information online (and from some governments), I could be a little more understanding that people just need to get more information. But fuck that. It’s September.

You’ve had eight full months to get your information. If you’re still “on the fence” and still dreaming up excuses, then yeah…fuck that and fuck your need to be right or whatever you’re still holding onto.

I know people don’t like being told what to do. I’m the same. But we’re not talking about random life advice and whether you should finish your degree or not, or even if you should wear white after Labor Day. The time has come and gone, we cannot wait for you to wake up. If being told to go get your fucking vaccine works, awesome.

There are 7.8 billion-plus people on the earth right now. Only 2.2 billion have been fully vaccinated. That means, 5.6 billion (5,600,000,000) people would be thankful to get what we privileged fuckers take for granted. Only 1.9 percent of people in low-income countries have received even one dose.

4,550,000 people have died because of Covid-19. Do you not think those mothers and fathers and wives and sons loved that person just as much as you love your family (or yourself)? How can you choose not to get vaccinated when it could save lives? Not just your own, but others. Perfect strangers who also love and live and want to be safe. All I hear from people are their own “personal” reasons. Are we really so egocentric, that we think our own personal lives are more important than anyone else’s? And so much so, that we’re okay with others dying or becoming ill (and possibly having long-term illnesses) just because we believe some whackadoodle meme or viral video that “just makes sense!”

If you wanted to choose not to get vaccinated, but then you would stay home and not attend events, or if you would even wear a mask to protect others, yeah…sure, we might be having that conversation right now. But the Venn diagram of those who say it’s their right to not get vaccinated, and those who actively attend rallies and concerts and do fuck-all to keep others safe, is a goddamn circle (Google: Superspreader events).

Just worrying about your own country or “praying the virus away” will not keep it away for long. Viruses have one goal. Their only reason to exist is to infect. It will keep mutating and creating new strains and we’ll have to keep updating the vaccine (and our information and our guidelines) as we go. Pandora’s virus box has been opened and no one is going to be able to ignore this, not globally, and definitely not locally.

If you’re one of the few “lucky” people in this world who have not been personally touched by the virus, either through illness to yourself or loved ones, then you are privileged. If you’re also privileged enough to live in a place where you have access to a fucking free vaccine, then you are extra-extra privileged.

Being privileged comes with some responsibility. The first one is to, as Wendy so eloquently says, “And holy fuck, if you aren’t fucking vaccinated against COVID-19, then you need to get fucking vaccinated right now. I mean, what the fuck? Fuck you. Get vaccinated. Fuck.”

Are you not seeing what’s happening out there? Like, “Four Florida teachers died this week, days before school year begins,” or the video of this asshat who coughed all over shoppers because others were wearing masks, or, “3rd conservative radio host who condemned vaccines dies of Covid.” No? What about, “Children hospitalized with COVID-19 in the U.S. hits record numbers”? Kids can’t even get the vaccine and they rely on us (yes, you too!) to keep them safe; safe, not just from child trafficking, but from anything that could harm them.

Sure, hand-holding and coddling is fine for some things in life, but enough is enough.

We are purposely and selfishly causing harm to our fellow humans just because of [insert excuse here]. Sure you may think that x, or y, or even z are totally valid reasons, but they aren’t. The information is there. And, there are so many people who are willing to sit with you and guide you through it (see the list below).

I’m not one of those. My ability to have empathy, when it comes to people who purposely choose to harm others, left my body well before summer even started.

Do we have all the answers now? No. We may not ever have all the answers. Do we have the necessary information to get the vaccine? Yes, absolutely.

I get it, fear-based reactions are hard to change. But this isn’t about having a phobia of spiders or being afraid of the dark. Your decision to not be a considerate part of humanity can cause physical harm to others. Like I’ve commented many a place, if Covid was an active shooter and you want to go out, guns blazin’ and play the hero…go for it. But your rights end where my right to be healthy begins. That’s just how it is.

There’s a list below of other, kinder, more enlightened authors below who want to take the mindful approach to this. Please click those links and let them guide you, if my approach hasn’t worked.

I’ll leave you with the end of Wendy’s smooth-talking article:

“Look, if you have been forwarded this essay from a friend or loved one, then there are two possibilities. Either you are a normal, regular, sensible fucking person like me who got fucking vaccinated at the first possible moment, and this essay channels all your fucking rage and sadness and is therefore cathartic or, and I really hope this isn’t the fucking case, you aren’t fucking vaccinated, and someone sent it to you because you fucking fucking fuck, you need to get fucking vaccinated. And rather than being fucking offended that someone is trying, yet again, to get you to take the fucking vaccine, you should understand that someone fucking loves you enough to try one last motherfucking time to get you to take the fucking vaccine before you fuck off to heaven, or hell, or some in-between place that’s just like a fucking mall or something where everything is free, including and especially the soft pretzels. So, congratulations! There is one person remaining in your life who wants to fucking save you from drowning in your own fucking lungs,…so for god’s sake, get your fucking ass out of your chair, go to the fucking pharmacy, and get a fucking vaccine, you absolute conscienceless fucking fuck fuck fuck. Get it. Get the fucking vaccine. Fuck you. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck!”


List of kinder, more mindful articles to get you vaccinated:

Healing a Nation begins with Listening: the Dilemma of the COVID-19 Vaccine.

How I went from no-go-vax to Pro-Vaccine (& how you can Too).

*Time* is Up: It’s Too Late to Get the Vaccine when you’re Dying of COVID.

2 Steps to get (almost) Everyone Vaccinated without Mandatory Vaccinations.

How do I know who to Trust? (The rise of Internet “Experts.”)

Top 5 Myths about the Pandemic: How to Spot & Debunk COVID-19 Misinformation.

Viruses Don’t Care about Religion, Race, Ethnicity, Income, Location, or Age.

Confessions of someone who was Scared of the Vaccine (& finally got It).


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