September 12, 2021

This is Soft Sex.

So often, when we hear the term soft sex, we think about a soft lingam.

That can be such a beautiful experience and has some amazing possibilities.

I’d like to share something different with you about soft sex.

It’s a softening—a softening into your body, your heart, your genitals, into your partner, into the moment, into the energy.

There’s tenderness here. (I love that word.)

It’s an opening, a surrender.

There’s an honoring in tenderness, in the way we look at each other, the way we touch, the way we hold each other.

There’s care in tenderness.

Soft sex allows us to feel.

When we soften, we come to stillness, and in stillness we feel the pulsation of life. We feel our own bodies, hearts. We feel ourselves pulsing, throbbing.

In stillness, we feel our partner’s pulsation.

And in stillness, there comes a resonance in our pulsation. One energy.

In soft sex, there’s a melting—into each other.

It’s one of the reasons we have sex, oneness; we’re looking for that intimacy, connection.

Into oneness, even for a moment.

And energy, one of the ways we feel our energy during sex is in the softness, in the stillness.

Sit opposite your partner.


Into your heart.

Look into each other’s eyes.

And soften.

Soften into your breath, your heart, your eyes.

Energy can move in softness.

Energy from your heart to theirs, from your eyes to theirs, from your breath to theirs.

It flows naturally when there’s softness.

You don’t have to do anything else.

Spend time here.


As you soften, you welcome their energy.

You’re penetrated by it.

This energy carries love; it’s a natural frequency.

The more you soften, the more you feel.

The more flows.

Come together in union, in a position that is comfortable for both of you.

A position that allows you to relax deeply, fully.

Yab-Yum is good; find what works for you.

Extra lubrication helps with this experience.

Move slowly.

The energy is in the slow.

The sensation is in slow.

The feeling is in the slow.



Your body will soften.

Soften even more as you breathe.

Let go.



Into yourself, into the moment, into each other.

Soften your pelvic floor muscles.

Soften your genitals.

Soften your belly.

Soften your jaw.

Soften your anus.

In the softness, the energy of your sex spreads through your body, your whole body.

In the softness, your body melts into your lover’s.

In the softness, your body disappears.

And all you are is energy, pulsation.



The ecstasy of being.

You’ll come back.

Don’t talk, for a while.

Allow what’s there to be there.

It’s all love.

Hearted by and 3 other readers


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