September 4, 2021

This is What Genuine Intimacy actually Looks Like.


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Intimacy is a state of being.

It’s who we are.

It’s within us.

Looking for intimacy, which is what so many of us are, especially now.

Looking for intimacy is looking for ourselves.

It’s a journey of connecting, reconnecting, rediscovering a deep part of who we are.

Over time, through experience, through patterning and conditioning, we’ve disconnected from—been disconnected from—intimacy.

And we’ve been led to believe that intimacy is connected to another, to a lover, to a relationship, to something outside of ourselves. So that’s where we look, and we don’t see how dependent that is: I’m intimate when you (whoever the “you” is) are there. And I’m not intimate when you’re not.

Intimacy is within us.

It’s presence; when I am present, I am in intimacy, in connection with what is: the moment, you, the experience.

This is where we begin to merge, to see the oneness. And in time, we’ll come to know that there is no other.

And we’ll come to see that intimacy is an intimacy with life. It’s knowing life in all its expressions, joyful and tearful, feeling the sensation, the fabric of all there is.

We wrap ourselves in the moment and breathe into the next, for there is a flow in intimacy, a dance that moves with the vitality of being.

There’s a joy in this, in its essence, a joy of being, of feeling, sensing.

Our bodies, our senses, are a place where intimacy dwells.

In the expression of sensuality, of eroticism, we can become more and more intimate.

Eroticism is the body and the heart, not simply our genitals, as so many see it.

Sensuality is all of our senses, all of our body, not an introduction to sex.

It’s being present with what we see, what we taste, what we smell, what we hear, what we feel, what we say, what we touch.

It’s being present with our breath.

It’s being present with creativity—inspiration.

It’s having a relationship of awareness with ourselves and ourselves in life—in love.

This is making love with life, and life making love with us.

With our laughter and our tears, our joys, sorrows, desires, and fears.

Many of us seek this through sex; “intimacy” has become a euphemism for sex.

“They were intimate.”

And so often, the way sex is the “looking for,” the longing for intimacy, we miss it.

When our focus is on orgasm, on a goal, on achieving, on reaching something, that’s about doing.

Intimacy is being.

It’s energy; it’s of the heart.

There’s a flow in this, a flow in the body, on the body, between the bodies.

It’s a meditation on sensation and feeling in awareness.

There’s a fire in this intimacy.

When we choose it as a path, when it calls us, there’s an invitation that strips away so much. So much illusion, so much armour, so much tension, tightness.

We often think of intimacy in the sense of gentleness. This fire, this fire, burns so much away in its search for truth.

And in this, it opens our eyes so we may see more of what’s within us and more of the moment of being.

And there’s a surrender in intimacy. A surrender to love, to the moment, to connection, to energy, to life. There’s a surrender to our essence, to desire. This is the desire for love, for life, to be in that, in every way. There’s an invitation in surrender, again and again, every day.

This is some of the inner journey of intimacy, a becoming.

Over time, we see it’s an endless journey and a limitless journey, taking us deeper into the state of being intimate.

Living intimately in every way.

In my world of Conscious Sexuality, so many experiences, so many of the workshops, are about intimacy.

When we can experience that within us in this space, we can allow that to flow into life, naturally, with ease, and with grace.

Come and share with me, I invite you…

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