September 8, 2021

The One thing that Can put Online Debates to an End.


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Sometimes it’s really f*cking hard to stay alive.

I know it isn’t true, but I feel like I’m always hurting. Between Maskers vs. Non-Maskers and Vaxxers vs. Non-Vaxxers, I just don’t understand how everyone can justify acting so hatefully toward one another in their words, deeds, and actions, all for the sake of defending their different perspectives.

We can fly to the moon and communicate across the globe; we’re physically tracking phenomena that the eye can’t see; and yet, we emotionally abuse each other because we have a disagreement over and over again.

I have been described as a critical thinker at best, and oppositional, argumentative, and even known to use expletives at worst. All of this chaos is happening because of different opinions or the inability to understand where the other person is coming from.

I honestly don’t understand the need to aggressively disagree with each other.

It would appear that, in the times when it is needed the most, we collectively as a society cannot hold a civilized discourse and safe space for oppositional discussion. This is ironic to me because any opposition still has one thing in common: we want to solve what we perceive as a problem or overcome an obstacle.

Ironically, when one point of view is attacked, so to speak, from multiple vantage points, wouldn’t that in fact make a combination of proposed solutions that much stronger and likely to succeed? Therefore it stands to reason, opposition truly strengthens the result.

So why do we tend to act so aggressively toward those who don’t see and think the same as we do?

When did we begin preferring our echo chambers?

When did we become so sensitive as to believe that only content in alignment with our views holds merit?

When did we become so closed-minded in our thinking that we forget the most basic law of your universe, which is duality?

What is good is also bad sometimes; it’s all about the circumstances. How have we forgotten that most times, our disagreement with a person holding an opposing perspective stems from the fact that we may not have understood what they’re saying in the first place?

In order to disagree, you need to agree until solid facts stir you away from the opposing perspective. It is only in first locating that common ground we share that we can actually accomplish what both sides are endeavoring to do anyway, which is overcoming an obstacle.

I’m a practicing Buddhist, and apparently I’m not succeeding very well because I’m too attached to the misery I’m feeling.

It’s not hard, especially with a climate crisis, a pandemic, and what could almost be described as an apocalypse of the world I’ve known. If any of you is familiar with the mythos of the fall of Atlantis, or Troy, or any other civilization for that matter, don’t you ever wonder if this is what it was like for them too?

It’s probably really selfish of me to ask because I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. But I promise you this: I care about you, not just because I’m hurting, but because if I’m hurting, I know that you must be too. Maybe not right now, maybe not for a while, but you have hurt in the past. I hope it doesn’t happen, but it stands to reason you will hurt again. It also stands to reason that you will endure it.

We can all help each other tolerate and overcome it more gracefully, while simultaneously lessen the suffering if we only remember that for each and every one of us:

Sometimes, it’s really f*cking hard to stay alive.

Let’s try listening to each other to understand, not to agree nor disagree.

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