September 15, 2021

The One Thing we need to be More Of.


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People are now sharing more about themselves online than ever before.

Due to the increased awareness of mental health issues and widespread use of social media, it is common to read several posts a week from people describing their emotional struggles. It seems to have been normalised, and perhaps due to the quantity that I see, I have accepted this without thinking deeply about how these people are genuinely feeling.

In the last couple of weeks, however, I paid attention.

Two close friends, both beautiful souls, posted about feeling that they needed to be more, they should be more, they wanted to be more, of this or that, something or other. They didn’t feel that they were enough.

I felt a surge of sadness overcome me. These incredible women who shine brightly, bring so much light into my life—yet here they each were, reaching out, not knowing how to change this feeling that was so powerful they had chosen to share it with the world.

Life offers us so many roles to play—everyone is stretched, regardless of their gender, or stage in life. We all feel the pressures of being human in this modern society.

We can only do our best in any situation, and that will change from minute to minute based on every factor that impacts our lives.

We are human, we are affected by many external forces, and perfection doesn’t exist.

In different scenarios, we will likely be a different version of ourselves, and in reality we should only be striving to be happy with who we are in each moment.

If circumstances are triggering feelings of discontent or inauthenticity, it is the circumstances that need to be changed in order that we can live in contentment, as our true selves.

As Waylon Lewis says in this video:

“We don’t want to be better, that is self-aggression.”

Self-love, self-care, self-respect, and self-worth are struggles that many face. Few dig deep into Maitri—though what a difference it would make if we did, if deep in our souls we trusted that we are enough.

Even those we admire—people who appear to have it all together—suffer from self-doubt or self-criticism from time to time and question their value as a human.

Robin Williams once said in an interview:

“I don’t know how much value I have in this universe, but I do know that I made a few people happier than they would have been without me, and as long as I know that, I’m as rich as I ever need to be.”

We may never recognise the value we add to the lives of those around us, but we need to trust that we are good enough to be valued—we are worthy of kindness, love, and consideration, from ourselves and others.

The only “more” that any of us should be seeking, is to be more in touch with who we are—more true to ourselves.

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