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They tell us, “No worries if your ex has blocked you from all social media.”
“No worries if your ex whom you loved so intensely is with someone else in a relationship; through the creation of manifesting your own reality, you can make your ex come back to you.”
“No worries if you ended on such bitter terms and haven’t spoken or seen each other for years; with The Law of Attraction, if you loved once, you can both love each other and be together again.”
“No matter how wrong or right, how deceitful, or how naive you have become in the midst of your jaded, rose-coloured projection of them, you can, against all odds, manifest your ex back.”
When we love so purely and deeply, we set all our goals and future plans with this person who completes us—our other half. And in the midst of our incompatibility and our parted ways, somehow we tend to believe we can never love again.
We tend to believe we can never have those wonderful dreams of a grand beach wedding, a beautiful baby, a cosy home if we are without this ex—the one who shattered our hearts. Yet, we remain positive and hopeful. We think this kind of love is the exception to any other rule, that we belong together, and that the power is in our hands to manifest them back in our lives.
So we start our daily ritual, believing they are going to come running back to our arms, with a change of heart. We believe they are going to leave the person they are with, to run miles for us, because no matter how ugly the relationship was, we, against all odds, will manifest each other back to how we used to be.
I start my day with my morning visualisation meditation as I grab the fantasy I have in my mind. They are looking straight at me with eyes full of love. We have this electric eye contact, and as they open their tender, loving arms toward me, full of a buzzing chemistry, they wrap and embrace me with this fresh air of love, so deep that I feel they are here, they will be here, this will be my reality. No matter how bad they were to me, I feel my ex’s presence.
I then listen to my affirmations, “My ex is deeply in love with me.” “My ex sees nobody else but me in their eyes.” “I am in a loving, committed, romantic relationship with my ex.” “We are together now.”
I grab my glass of water next to me and blow these affirmations into my glass, because what I am, I will become, and they will arrive as promised, because no matter how terrible they were to me, the Law of Attraction guru says I can manifest my ex back, even if my ex told me they don’t want me anymore.
I’m scripting, I’m doing methods such as 5 x 5, writing down repeatedly that my ex loves me and is back with me. I put so much time and effort into creating a ritual on a daily basis, all for the sake of my ex to come back, no matter what, incompatible or not—it was promised we would be back together.
Before I sleep, I say my nightly affirmations. I feel so sure, a feeling so strong takes over me, and I see my ex so vividly in my mind, “It’s done; it’s done; it’s done.” Or is it?
Months pass, years pass, no peek, no sound, no notification from the ex. They still continue to be secure and happy in their new relationship, and I ask, “But what happened? I had daily rituals to get my ex back. Where are they? Am I doing something wrong? Do I believe enough? But I believe so much; I feel the butterflies in my stomach are real, I see their shining eyes in front of me, but I don’t understand, where are they?”
It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but here are three reasons we may want to consider why the Law of Attraction isn’t bringing our ex back.
1. We are not vibrationally aligned.
When we ask the universe for something that was once broken, that left in a negative way, and was vibrationally low, remember, we are asking energetically for that same vibration back. Our ex may be on a different vibrational level than us. Maybe we’ve evolved to a higher state of positive consciousness; maybe we’ve grown and adapted to a higher version of ourselves in a higher state of mind.
When we’re asking the universe to manifest our ex back, whether they had narcissistic traits, were abusive (physically, mentally, or emotionally), reliant on substances, lied, or betrayed us, it could be that our ex hasn’t evolved and is still stuck in the low negative vibration and mentality we left them in.
No matter how hard we try with all the Law of Attraction techniques out there, we must think to ourselves and honestly ask ourselves, what vibrational level were they at, what vibrational level am I at now, and are we out of sync?
Did it not work out because we were maybe defined for a higher spiritual awakening and the direction of life was much greater for us that we left them behind?
If we were to be together again, how would our energy feel? Would we feel dragged down and drained, or would we feel uplifted, excited for a future of support and compassion?
2. Destiny has another plan.
When our exes leave, somehow we create this false truth within ourselves that we will never find anything better. That we can never love as much as we loved them. We are left behind, high and dry, a broken doll shattered, with no meaning of life anymore—no purpose. This person was our everything, and we can never find love again, or even someone better suited for us to give us a similar experience.
Destiny has a funny way to take us through the darkest, dreary routes of life and pushes us to our lowest point. We later look back and think, “Wow, I have all the strength and love I need for myself, because destiny maybe hurt me to give me more than I ever thought I could ever receive.”
If the Law of Attraction isn’t manifesting our ex back, maybe there’s a bigger plan, a bigger picture for us out there that’s yet to come, that’s going to swoop in and shock us to our core. A love we have never imagined existed, a person so compatible with us and so right for us, could even come after this ex.
Once we let go of that attachment, of that rope we are holding on to so tightly, we might not want to let go and be real with ourselves that it’s over.
We can’t imagine what destiny has planned for us until we trust and let go.
They say everything happens exactly the way it’s supposed to happen. It has been a long time and we’re trying so hard to manifest our ex back. Our rituals are taking over our focus and our thoughts; it’s becoming obsessive, upsetting, because we fail to see any improvement on the situation, but destiny may have a perfect plan for us that doesn’t consist of our ex—but of something greater ahead.
When we look back and connect the dots, we’ll realise one day that the heartbreak, the pain, the separation, the arguments—they all had to happen in order for us to be happy, to be where the person we truly deserve can walk into our life.
So let go, my friend, and stop trying so hard, for love is an effortless flowing bird that nurtures and respects, and all we have to do is trust and open our arms to be loved.
We must allow everyone to follow their destiny path, even if it doesn’t include us. A forced love is a lonely love.
3. What you think you want doesn’t match up with your subconscious.
We’ve scripted a list of what attributes we desire for our partner to have; we’re so sure on what we want and ready to manifest our dream lover.
The only problem is that our subconscious knows what we really deeply want in a partner and what we know we deserve is nothing in comparison to our ex. Our subconscious is one step ahead of us on knowing our needs, and it knows we’re consciously deceiving ourselves. Our ex is not who we really, really want, and we know we deserve better.
When we know what we really deserve, it’s hard to kid ourselves that we deserve any less. To be real and honest with ourselves is difficult at times. It’s difficult when on the outside we tell ourselves we want something and we find all the justifications to back up our false reasoning.
Deeper in our subconscious mind sits the truth—that it’s my ego holding me so tightly onto this false dream of my ex, that I’ve reassured myself this is the right way, the only way I can be loved by literally working a full time job around the clock just to manifest my ex back when I know that we broke up for a bigger reason—incompatibility, infidelity, incapability to suffice each other’s needs.
We know this ended for a reason. Nothing is going to manifest if in our deep subconscious we believe it’s not going to ever work out—that the truth is we could find someone compatible to our needs.
We hold the power to create whatever we wish for that is aligned for us, waiting for us to ask for it—be it health or success or for the greater good. So if the magic wand is in our hands, why wouldn’t we do the same effort for something greater for ourselves, for the world? How many people’s lives can we change, rather than manifest our ex back?
We are destined for bigger, better things; let go of controlling the situation; don’t interfere with this lesson life is trying to teach us so we can grow, let go, and trust in the universe to bring us more than we ever thought we could have.
Don’t control the outcome, for the saying goes, “Rejection is simply God’s protection.”
Thank the universe, maybe you dodged a bullet.