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November 14, 2021

Move from comparison to connection.

Lady Queens, how often do we catch ourselves comparing our own sweet selves to other women? I bet it happens more than you realise – we know it can for us. But this comparison is holding us back from forming our Sisterhood.

To form our Sisterhood, we need to first start by looking at the female interactions we have.

In many interactions you have had with women, you may have noticed the edge of competition that can come up. To fully move into our Sisterhood, we need to create a shift around competing with other women.

We need to move from competition and comparison to compassion and connection.

Here’s a bit of a reality check, Lady Queens, – and we’re gonna ask you to be honest with yourselves. Have you ever caught yourself thinking or saying any of the following about another woman:

‘Who does she think she is?’

‘She should NOT be wearing that.

‘Women her size shouldn’t dress like that.’

‘How much filler and Botox do you reckon she’s had?’

‘Must be nice to have a sugar daddy!’

‘She’s lucky she’s pretty, because what a bimbo!’

If we are tearing down, there is no lifting happening. And that tearing has so many layers and levels from culture to upbringing, lifestyle, finances, and even wellness.  Judgement comes in many shapes and sizes, and often we are unaware we’re doing it.

‘Look how small her engagement ring is.’

‘She needs to cut her hair.’

‘Why is she wearing so much make-up?’

‘Wasn’t she wearing that dress last week?’

‘Oh, she’s not taking care of herself, look at her skin.’

The issue is this silent, sad but huge schism we as women have in society – we are so ready to judge and to be judged.

Comparing ourselves to what the lady in front of us has, or lacks, what she is or doing or saying – all of this is cloaked competition. And then there are the compliments from men, which can have various intentions. Men may single out one lady in a group by ignoring her, therefore pushing her to compete with the other women. This is apparently part of a strategy to pick up women that we’ve recently heard about, which we will discuss in more detail at a later date. Or there are gentlemen who simply like to pay compliments to a lady, but this has the effect of making the other women in the group see her as competition. But most importantly, how should we as Lady Queens respond to these situations? Because, remember, we have the ultimate power in these situations!

To start with, become aware of where we ourselves are comparing, and instead of immediately reacting, let’s see how we can properly respond.

And let’s do our best to lift the ladies around us – all the ladies we encounter.

A simple way to lift other women and start to diffuse and mend this schism is to share our ‘she knowledge’, as well as our experiences. We can start with something simple that all women can relate to, like our cycles. All women, regardless of assigned gender at birth, have cycles, as you all know by now.

Gauge their readiness by asking simple questions:

What part of your cycle are you in? 

Maybe you feel that way because you’re in X part of your cycle?  

Do you know what part of the month you feel most withdrawn, high energy, most sexy?

If we share our learnings with the ladies in our lives, we can help each other rise stronger, form our Sisterhood, and support one another.

Here’s to claiming, embodying, and living in pleasure.

Stay connected, juicy, and playful, and we’ll see you next time.

Love, Savannah and Teany

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Savannah Alalia  |  Contribution: 4,695