November 1, 2021

The Penetration of Fire: a Sex Technique to Deepen our Experience.

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When it comes to penetration, most people have what we call friction sex.

I recently shared a piece about this, called “Penetration of the Heart.” Skin rubbing against skin creates friction. It’s not very conscious—it’s about building up enough sensation to have an orgasm, a contractive, explosive orgasm.

There’s an art of penetration that can deepen the experience incredibly for both partners.

It’s more about energy, exploring sensation, and an intimacy that’s often lacking in friction sex. It’s about the portal the energy opens to deeper states of awareness.

The penetration of fire is part of this art.

For many men, the model of fire sex is hard sex. It’s based on, and comes from, a porn model of sex. It’s about being a jackhammer, a pile driver. How hard? How fast?

Friction, more friction.

It’s using someone else’s body to masturbate. And it’s empty. Because there’s no heart in it.

To be clear, deep, hard sex can be amazing. The primal energy coming from deep inside reaches deep, takes us deep, and in its authentic expression, it comes from the heart.

The fire needs heart. That’s what gives it substance, fills it.

The passion is from the heart. The energy is from the heart. The growl is from the heart.

It begins, as does the penetration of the heart:

Breathe into your heart.

Breathe into your lingam.

Feel the energy flow between them whilst inside your lover.

Withdraw so just the head of your lingam is inside her.

Gather your energy.

Gather your energy into your heart, and into your lingam.

Feel the fire inside of you. And then…

One stroke—so deep, so fast, so hard.

Breathe and growl your energy into your lover.

One stroke then stop. Be still, so still.


A wave of fire moves through your lover—to her heart—filling every cell in her body with fire.


And again, rest just inside of her.

Gather your energy, your presence.

Hold total presence in your body, your heart, your sex, your breath, your voice, your passion, and your eyes. She’ll see it. It’s unmistakable.

Gather your energy.

One stroke, so deep.


Feel the wave move through you both.

Penetration of fire is from your core—the core of your heart, and the core of your lingam.

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