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December 21, 2021

From Jealousy to Appreciation: Alchemizing Jealousy

Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.

When jealous feelings arise within us we are usually resenting attributes, rewards, and assets lacking within ourselves or the scarcity existing in our own lives. If this emotion consumes us it spirals into a juggernaut of extreme anger, ill-wishing, and a myriad of destructive behaviors that can severely isolate us and hurt well-meaning individuals who have crossed our paths for very positive and uplifting reasons.  Jealousy has been stigmatized as a destructive emotion (which it is if gone unchecked), but it has never been seen as a useful emotion. Even religious texts warn against allowing us to be consumed by this emotion, but they never tell us how to transform the emotion into a positive emotion either.  Why is this? I am going to pose an argument that might trigger some.

The argument is this: We are not told that we have the power to transform this emotion because there are some things that we are meant to figure out for ourselves and by seeking for ourselves we are then more empowered from within.  I, for one, can admit how I have allowed this emotion to consume me and the cost is too detrimental to even think about.  However, I no longer wanted this emotion running my life and destroying my relationships. So, while I was drinking my coffee this morning, the thought crossed my mind:  Just like using offense as a useful tool to evolve and grow, why not use jealousy in the same way? Instead of being jealous, challenge yourself and appreciate what that person has even though you lack it?  My ego did not appreciate this moment, but I did it anyways (note: Prideful smile forming on my face as I type).

Alchemizing emotions that can cause destruction in our lives, especially in our relationships, is extremely challenging to say the least. There is already the challenge of forgiving yourself, then you also have the mole hills of regret coupled with the “what if’s” to handle as well. I will not say that this is an easy task, not at all.  It takes years of practice, and you have to have enough emotional and mental fortitude to bear the isolation this practice requires.  In this era of the Megalomaniacal Ego, humbling thyself goes beyond challenging.  However, if you are dedicated to your growth, and you truly want your life to become healthier…humility is paramount. It hurts like hell, but life will extend gentleness and mercy to you as you surrender more and more (this I can promise with 200% certainty).

Swallowing the hard pill of reality that I lacked appreciation and respect for those who had more than me was like swallowing shards of glass steeped in battery acid. I have an ego the size of Russia, and a nature that is as stubborn as a bull in heat.  Pushing past the pain, embarrassment of how I have behaved, not to mention things I have said in the past, and regret was like moving the stone from Jesus’s tomb with nothing but a fork. However, the release that came from this empowered me with a fresh new perspective on how to approach life, and it deepened my forgiveness towards others and myself.  They’re not lying when they say everything can change in the blink of an eye. Life can really change that dramatically, that quickly!

Shifting my perspective from viewing individuals who had more than me, or who were more talented, prettier, etc as a threat; I started to shift that perspective first to appreciation.  They had to overcome obstacles I am not designed to overcome. But I have been able to overcome mountains they were not designed to overcome either. Common ground. Some people are more emotionally safe than I have been in the past.  But I am surviving storms that will one day make me a safe harbor for others just like they did. Once again…common ground. There are writers, models, actors, and dancers who possess talent I will never have. This is okay. They are no longer threats to my success; instead they are mentors to facilitate my own personal success. They may not know the impact they are having on me, but then again, I don’t know the impact I am having on others around me either. Wait for it…..say it with me….COMMON GROUND! After the appreciation, gratitude followed which then deepened into rooted forgiveness in the heart. And these virtues continue to take root in the heart.

For too long we have treated “negative emotions” as a threat to our existence, salvation, and development in life.  In a way they can be, but instead of demonizing these emotions, we can start shifting our perspective so we are no longer held captive by these emotions that are really here to serve us more than hurt us. Since energy cannot be created nor destroyed it is futile to suggest that these feelings can be completely vanquished. So many of us are trying to evaporate these feelings, and the frustration is overwhelming sometimes to the point of debilitating depression. Been there and continuing to climb out of it!!! But when we shift our perspective to viewing these emotions as our maverick allies and allow them to help us; we can transmute these energies into very useful tools for development.

Christianity sees the Devil as an enemy to be feared so much to the point that people act helpless when he rears his ugly head; and he can be an asshole without a doubt.  But sometimes you have to pull yourself up, use the power of the Holy Spirit God gave you, grab that Devil by the balls and castrate him! There is no law that says you are not allowed to do this! Use him to your advantage! When jealousy arouses, ask that demon why it wants your attention so badly. Listen to what needs your attention and healing, then you take him by the tail, swing him around, and turn him into an angel! Tarot readers do not view this Devil energy as a bad thing, if done correctly and with the proper guidance, you can transform this energy into the light. There will always be shadows, but it is the amount of power we give those shadows that will ultimately determine how much we grow or regress as individuals and a collective.

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