December 18, 2021

How to Know What is Right for Us.


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How do we know what’s right for us?

How do we know what to do?

It can be too easy to get obsessed with details.

With planning. With wanting to know how every little thing of something will play out.

It feels like a pretty human thing to do.

We like the comfortable, the known, the familiar. We like to know what to expect—what we’ll get. We like predictable and things that feel “sure.” We want to know what will happen.

Many of us can get lost in analyzing (ourselves and others). Caught up in too much thinking about too many things.

We may even struggle to make a decision because we can’t “figure out” what’s “right.”

What if something goes wrong? What if we can’t fix it? What if it’s irreparable? What if it feels like there are too many factors all converging and too many different things relying upon this one single decision?

How do we know it’s right?

We know it’s right because it feels right.

We know it’s right because it brings a feeling of peace and softness to us. We feel at-peace with the decision—even if we can’t fully know or understand every single detail about how it will play out.

The obsessing, the overthinking, the overanalyzing, the restlessness—it’s all mind stuff. Our minds are trying to figure out how to organize things in such a way that we get exactly what we want when we want it in the way that we want it, or at least, in a way that makes sense, in a way that makes us feel safe, secure, and satisfied.

But when we’re stuck in our heads, we’re disconnected from our hearts.

I have spent way too much of my life in this state. Thinking over and over about how to get everything to fit into the ideal I see in my head or trying to make a decision while thinking about the billion different things that seem connected to it.

And it has never gotten me very far. It just made my brain feel tired.

And thank goodness, I finally feel this drifting away from me.

To do this, to let go, we just have to be willing. Willing to let go. Willing to understand there’s another way. Willing to allow something else to move us and guide us. Willing to trust that we’ll be taken care of—that we can take care of ourselves. That we’ll know what to do.

We just have to soften, get quiet, and listen.


Drop into our bodies, into our hearts, and allow.

Allow ourselves to be, to listen, to hear.

And then let ourselves go with what we feel to be right.

Our minds don’t operate from our hearts. Our minds like to think about what’s “logical” or “rational” or “reasonable.” They like to focus on what we “think” we “should” do. What would be “smart” or “sensible.” And about what we most definitely want to avoid.

Our minds, I think, are trying to protect us, but they’re not the most trustworthy when it comes to our hearts or our intuition or moving in a direction that feels unfamiliar.

The key to knowing what’s right for us is to feel what’s right for us. And to let ourselves go with it. Even if it feels unknown. Even if it brings uncertainty. Even if it makes us feel a little uncomfortable.

The more we do this, the less we’ll obsess about the future or worry about every detail, because we’ll begin to trust that if we’re doing what feels right, right now, in this moment, then we’ll also be guided to move with what feels right in the future.

We’ll be able to trust that life will unfold for us in a way that will allow us to feel into what’s right for us in each moment. We’ll trust that we’ll be able to make the decisions we need to make when we need to make them. That we’ll understand what we’re meant to understand when it’s time. That we’ll know what we’re meant to know, when it’s time.

This doesn’t mean we won’t be curious, that we’ll stop wanting to know—we just won’t need to know (at least for now).

We don’t have to know how everything will unfold in the future to make the decision that feels right to us right now.

If you find yourself struggling with a decision, if you are torn between what to do—feel into what feels right. How does it feel in your body? Which option makes you feel more peaceful? What part of you is stressing? Is it just your mind? Your thoughts? Is your mind trying to intellectually figure everything out?

What about your heart?

What is your heart saying?

You’ll know what to do—because it will feel right.


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