Lady Queens, how do we gauge what pleasure looks like for us? It’s so very important to know where pleasure is and what it looks like for us, because only then are we able to know what pleasure looks like in a relationship. As always, we have to know how we connect to ourselves before we can connect to someone else. So how do we do this? Well, to measure pleasure, we have to have a meter of some sort … we call this the Pleasure Meter.
What is a pleasure meter?
A Pleasure Meter is an inner marker of how much pleasure we allow and feel in our day to day lives. Pleasure can arrive through a variety of different places, from orgasm to the joyful sensations of cloth on our skin, the jewellery we wear, the number of hugs we give or get, the food we eat, to the money we have coming in.
Lady Queens, our Pussies have a pretty good grasp on our Pleasure Meter. When we tune into our Noo-Noos, we see how full our Pleasure Meter is.
Once we know the level and we can feel that connection to pleasure, we can try this sentence:
“Thank you, more please!” This is the single most powerful phrase to amplify our pleasure!
While sex fulfils connection and procreation, we know that the initial catalyst is a desire for pleasure, which is our Goddess birthright. But sex is only one way to create pleasure in our lives. We can ask ourselves, “How does your garden grow? What fills up your Pleasure Meter?”
We like to write down in our journals all the things that give us pleasure. It can start with subtle things, like having flowers in our homes, eating dark chocolate, or petting our animals. And then we move on to other pleasures, a full pleasure day with candles, dinner and a movie with ourselves, all the way to deep orgasmic pleasure.
I love simple things first that then build up over time. A cup of tea made for me by my beloved, a bath poured for me, sharing tasty food, silky sheets, bear hugs all the way up to being touched and kissed gentle and sweetly and then passionately by myself or my partner.
Dark raspberry chocolate and delicious meals are a subtle yet so pleasurable moment. Then later on, playtime can include dressing up with red lace while dancing for myself.
The best tip for figuring how to fill our Pleasure Meters, Lady Queens is to use our senses. We can ask ourselves, “What would you like to see, touch, taste, hear, and feel?” From there, we can figure out how to work with our partners on bringing in pleasure together as we enter the tunnel of love … whether we get creative on our own or use props, or even create a scene in our home. But first, let’s start with some basics with honesty.
Without open, honest and consistent actions towards our pleasure and our partner’s pleasure, over time, we risk losing the relationship. Both our pleasures are equal – no one’s is more important than another, however neither should compromise the other’s pleasure. So, we can discover this with our partners at the start, or wherever you find yourself now. Then we can be bold, share what brings us pleasure right out of the gate, and make sure we know what brings our partners pleasure.
If already in a relationship, let’s take the time to have a pleasure evening with our partners! Ask them in advance what would bring them the most pleasure and then we can tell them what brings us the most…or just call it a Pleasure evening and explore together! Maybe make it 100 days of pleasure in all the ways. And don’t forget, for those of us who are single, we can always journal on this and prepare for a future partner and relationship that we desire.
Here’s to claiming, embodying, and living in pleasure.
Stay connected, juicy, and playful, and we’ll see you next time.
Love, Teany and Savannah