December 30, 2021

Stop Saying “Adulting”—Here’s the Truth about Being a Grown-Up.


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If I read another social media post that talks about “adulting,” I am going to deactivate my account.

Having vapid friends in a city came with the territory. People are a click away from a Seamless order, take a cab a few blocks instead of just walking, and don’t have to critically assess fixing a household problem when they have a superintendent in the building. I don’t know what made me think they could understand the fact that most people in the world had to “adult,” before “adulting” became some cool lingo for doing normal activities like buying groceries or writing out a check.

Do these people live under a rock?

I lived in a city while caretaking for my boyfriend when he had terminal cancer, and some people couldn’t figure out how to screw a lightbulb in the fridge.

“You’re killing my vibe.” I would often hear this phrase when I brought up real adulthood issues, such as dealing with the impending death of my boyfriend.

It should be no surprise to me that when I log onto social media, I see posts that mimic a narrative and not the truth. I see posts that clearly come from a place of garnering likes and seeking attention, and not from the heart. I see virtue signalers and no real action.

This is the curse of living in a culture that uses the exploitation of others to win someone over instead of generosity and kindness that comes from a place of healing.

People continuously want to shy away from reality because it’s too raw and rather focus on keeping their cool and good vibes.

It’s easier to talk about adulting by reminiscing on the first meal you burned on the stove instead of the first grief you experienced. This is an escape rather than making an attempt to uncover our true selves and grow into the humans who make a difference. Instead, I watch as some rather continue a trend.

The truth of being an adult is that there aren’t always good vibes. The friends you have won’t always be there when you need them, so we need to learn how to rely on ourselves. Doing this does not make you selfish, and anyone who tells you that has their own work to do.

Plans don’t always work out. Nothing is set in stone. We need to learn to roll with the punches. Having goals is important, but coming to a plot twist could be a personal transformation rather than a complete mental breakdown.

We need to stay open. So many people today have been caught in a grip of unwillingness to accept differentiating ideas. Having a narrow mind has become a symptom and a flaw in our society. There is no dissecting of what is really occurring—change. Change is a drastic part of our lives and we need to learn to adjust ourselves even if it makes us want to scream at the top of our lungs. Being open to change can unlock doors that we never thought about opening, and it can ultimately transform our perspective.

Vibes are always changing and so are we. A true lesson for ourselves is whether we can grapple with the fear of losing out when we are battling those moments of our life that are not for the weak-minded. Parting ways does not always mean saying goodbye, but when those around us are holding us down from our own growth, we must move forward. This means moving into the vibes that most aren’t ready to face. We can sit inside a plastic bubble of good vibes while patting each other on the back for getting out of bed each day, or we can be the vibe killers and embrace the change. This is what adulting is actually about.


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