December 18, 2021

The Most Vital Ingredient for Our Transformations.


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Change is hard, but necessary to survive.

What was once the standard way of functioning on our planet has dramatically shifted our worlds into a conundrum of unknown possibilities and alternate trajectories.

We are all living in a time of great change and uncertainty. Just last June—and for the past 12 years—I was working a full-time job in education and now, I am a Learning Coach for my three daughters who attend cyber school at home.

I was part of the mass, great resignation, which caused many people to rethink their careers, work conditions, and future aspirations. Finding a work-life balance was appealing to many, including myself because so many of us needed a jump start and reset.

Unfortunately, change never usually happens when we’re ready or at our speed. Without warning, many of us had to tread unfamiliar or murky waters to find out what we needed to leave behind.

We are also peeling back our veils and peeking into our darkest shadows, which can certainly be uncomfortable. We are questioning our old belief systems, surroundings, careers, partners, friends, and significantly challenging ourselves to do better.

And as always, we can be extremely self-deprecating if we don’t have it all figured out right away.

For me, I often forget that transition alone and the starting of a new cycle takes an incredible amount of energy. Unsettling feelings, like discontent and frustration, can appear without warning when we feel unsatisfied in our circumstances but really, we are just in the middle of change. These feelings are totally warranted but can make us question every little nook and cranny of our lives; thus, making our transition through change more difficult than ever.

Along with allowing time for deep rest and restoration, what can we do to ease our process through change?

We can begin by making sure we are well-equipped with the right tools. And we need to know how to love ourselves first.

The word love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states; from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection, to the simplest pleasure.

It sounds simple, but many of us have never learned these skills for ourselves. In supporting and caring for others, some of us willingly put the blinders on and ignore our own needs along the way. Sadly, we may have never gotten an accurate picture of what loving ourselves looks like.

Without self-love, I believe we are missing the most vital ingredient in any of our transformations.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into place. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” ~ Lucille Ball

Loving ourselves starts with having a deep appreciation which grows from actions that best support our mental, spiritual, and emotional growth.  It is the complete acceptance of self that seeks freedom from negative thoughts that do not move us forward.

Loving ourselves is needed above everything if we ever want to make it through these tough times and transitions. When we forget, we run the risk of letting fear control us and apathy consume us.

Loving ourselves is having the courage to always stand for what we believe in. It is saying what we mean and not faking it. It is being consistent in our words and actions.

Loving ourselves is the equivalent of never giving up. It requires no one’s approval, input, or opinion of you. It’s embracing all our weirdness and unique qualities.

Loving ourselves doesn’t cost anything. It has no requirements or conditions.

Loving ourselves is listening to our bodies and resting when we are tired.

Loving ourselves is creating healthy boundaries in relationships.

Loving ourselves is allowing help from others when we are tapped out.

Loving ourselves is not always knowing the right answer.

Loving ourselves is giving ourselves grace when we make mistakes—and realizing we are not perfect.

Loving ourselves is making time for what lights us up.

Loving ourselves is acknowledging blessings and practicing gratitude.

Loving ourselves is connecting with those who treat us with respect.

Loving ourselves is letting go of what no longer serves us and making space for new.

Loving ourselves is recognizing the strengths and positive qualities in others.

Loving ourselves sets the standard for how we love others in our life.

What does loving yourself mean to you? I’d love for you to include your thoughts in the comment section.

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