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It’s the end of the year, just before the dark moon.
In all the noise of setting intentions and visioning, I have found myself deep in reflection and creating releasing rituals to let go of this last year. A year filled with so much loss, change, heartbreak, abundance, alignment, magic, and mystery.
I get overwhelmed with intention setting without first metabolizing and releasing everything that has come to pass.
Over the last days, I have been writing letters to people on small pieces of paper, along with beliefs, situations, and patterns I wish to let go of, and burning them in ritual.
Listening for what is hiding in the crevices of release for these are the seeds of intentions flowing from the soul that wishes to germinate the next season of life.
I’m combing through the entire ecosystem of my life and writing reflections on every corner of growth and decay, illumination, success, disappointment, and heartbreak.
I’ve been taking away profound lessons as tears run down my face in the revelations that can only become crystal clear when the time is taken to allow the golden threads of time and fate to reveal themselves for our liberation.
As I go through this process of reflection, month by month, person by person, micro-ecosystem to micro-ecosystem of my life, including my relationship to myself, God, the wild, work, money, love, humans, purpose, creativity, Eros, I have a second paper where the deeper longings, prayers, and desires hiding inside what needs to be released reveal themselves.
These are the seeds I will germinate in the ecosystem of my life.
The ones I will plant in the wild.
The ones that cannot come from my mind or my ego, but from the shape of my body, softening as I lean against the poetic sustenance of heart-mind lighting up the cells of remembrance for how I am meant to live my life.
I will return to them on the New Moon to draw out the deeper intentions of my soul and heart-mind for planting in the ground of the ecosystem of my life for this coming New Year.
I have no idea what they will be, but I trust what is emerging more than what my mind can come up with.
This slowing down, resting, reflecting, and releasing has been so nourishing to my being.
There’s an opening deep in the vessel of my heart that is filled with delight, joy, faith…dare I say even hope in what will come—even in the scope of all the loss, tragedy, or discomfort that comes with the collective change we are going through.
Grief and the magic of creation invite us to liberate ourselves from what we cannot control, to sit on the edge of nonduality if but for a moment and take a deep breath in the wonder of it all.
We rush so much to manifest and create, to vision and build, to fill the void, to cover up the listening, to run truth that would have us change in ways that require grieving into a more authentic version of ourselves and our lives.
What good is this if the ecosystem of our life is decaying underneath everything?
What needs to be cleaned up?
What needs to be left fallow?
What has been frozen over by old grief?
What has been fogged out by unspoken truths?
Where have we been loyal to suffering as a form of love?
Western culture wants us to pile things over the lack of love (what scarcity truly is) or rooted foundational support, because it takes time to excavate and honor what needs to be cleaned up, to make amends for the damage our lack of sight has caused—both to ourselves, others, and the environment around us.
If we continue to see time as a commodity rather than something sacred, we will continue to feel separate and disconnected from the deep, slow feminine qualities of nature and miss out on her longing to liberate us back into her arms—the only place where we can awaken to the timeless nature of our true, essential selves.
May we lovingly release any agreements, contracts, or vows we made to be loyal to suffering as a form of love, belonging, or connection.
May we invite more love, not less.