This article is written in partnership with Vella—they’re dedicated to putting science in service of great sex, and closing the orgasm gap between men and women. We’re honored to work with them. ~ ed.
“This year, I’m gonna work out five times a week and only drink on weekends.”
That was my friend’s main goal for the New Year. I get it. Normally my list looks pretty similar to hers (the typical focus): give up late-night snacking, keep the pantry organized, do 100 sit-ups every morning…
While there’s nothing wrong with that, this year, I wanted to focus on something that was a little more well-rounded.
Too often what’s left out of these conversations is sexual pleasure. But it’s time for the way in which we view, talk about, and prioritize pleasure to change as we come to understand sexual health as a significant and important part of holistic wellness.
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Let’s talk about sexual wellness and its place in wellness as a whole.
Culturally, we’ve been hard-wired to believe that pleasure (of all kinds: orgasms, sleeping in, going on vacations) is frivolous. There’s this deep-rooted narrative that spending time on our own desires is selfish.
But just like committing to yoga twice a week is the beginning of a better “you,” and can create a stronger body-mind connection, your “sex-care” is intertwined with all aspects of life and is ever-so-crucial in that same field of overall well-being.
I mean, of course, self-care and fitness goals are always important, but to be blunt, a big part of full-body health is a full-bodied orgasm. (And it’s a lot more fun than the gym!)
But when recent polls are showing that “46% of young adult females are not sexually satisfied, are not talking about it with their partners, and have experienced a drop in general happiness,”(1) in a way, you could say that sexual self-care is an act of revolution.
Spearheading this sexual wellness revolution is Vella. Their sexual arousal serum blends science and sensual empowerment—giving women their rightful come-anytime-you-please pass to pleasure.
Their “so good, it must be magic” formula uses CBD to relax the vaginal smooth muscle, resulting in increased pleasure for cis-women. Some might call it magic, I call it sensual intelligence in a bottle. It’s clinically proven to promote more intense, satisfying, and higher frequency of orgasms—with a partner or on your own. (O-hhh, yes, please!)
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Not convinced? Here’re some other reasons to add some sexy to your list of resolutions: the afterglow, clarity that comes with post-sex satisfaction, the rush of optimism that makes you feel more creative, confident, and calm, improved immune system, better cardiovascular health…(2)
But, if you’re anything like me, at times it can honestly feel more like work because, well, you’ve gotta “get there”—and that usually comes with some prepping and roadblocks.
“I don’t feel sexy right now; I’ve been wearing the same pajamas all week.”
“Maybe I just can’t orgasm every time…”
It’s kind of the same concept as “prepping” to get back into a gym routine after a long sabbatical (i.e., COVID-19, holidays, emotional struggles).
With Vella, sexual wellness and intimacy become a lot easier to reconnect with. I mean, the big “O” is, quite literally, at your fingertips—even if you’re part of the large percentage of women who struggle with sexual arousal.
According to Cleveland Clinic’s medical professionals, “43% of women and 31% of men report some degree of sexual dysfunction.”(3) So, remember, you’re not alone. And, whether it’s dryness, inability to orgasm, pain, low sex drive…there’s a solution.
Orgasms aren’t a privilege—they’re your right.
But, what if you feel like you’ve lost your ticket to ride the “arousal” train?
Well, first, let’s discuss what sexual arousal looks like. National Health Services says,
“The sexual excitement stage—also known as the arousal stage—involves a range of physiological changes in the body.
For example, your vagina becomes wetter because the glands produce lubricating fluids. Your clitoris and vulva swell up as your blood vessels dilate. Your nipples might become more sensitive to touch, too.” (4)
This is where Vella really comes…into play. The serum gets your body in the perfect physical place to climax—easily, more frequently, and with more intensity than ever before.
You can stop worrying about the “how do I get there?” part—pressuring your body to perform—because that’s what the serum is for. You gain full ownership of that delicious, much-needed (and always deserved) orgasm.
So, whether you’re learning what you like in bed, medication is making your orgasms infrequent, or hormones are making it hard to stay properly lubed–Vella makes every body orgasm-ready. Here is the deed to your house of hot sex, courtesy of Vella.
And, without further ado, and in honor of all the sizzlin’ sexual wellness you deserve, I present…
6 sexual resolutions everyone should make—that are totally life-changing:
(And remember: these resolutions can be made at any point throughout the year…they’re more like a sexual bucket list.)
1. Tell your partner how you want sex to feel (or figure out what you want for yourself—no partner needed).
Intimacy and sex go together like peanut butter and jelly. You don’t need one to have the other, but when you have both it can be meteoric.
Basically, open communication leads to deeper intimacy—which means more “h-ohh-ly moly” good orgasms.
2. Listen to audio porn
Learning how your body responds to audio and visual porn can give you some extra insight into your sexual self-care.
According to Dr. Emily Nagoski, sex educator and author of Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life:
“Since pleasure can be so elusive, understanding your body’s responses to different sexual stimuli can help you make the most out of your masturbatory material…Since audio porn depends on your own imagination, it can allow for more pleasurable, personalized experiences.” (4)
Rather than seeing a story unfold before you, you get to imagine whatever turns you on.
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3. Try every position in the Kama Sutra
New sex positions will encourage you both to be more vulnerable with one another in—and outside of —the bedroom. And in the end, you’ll find your relationship injected with an extra dose of trust.
Going it alone? You can mix it up on your own, too. Try as they may, it’s unlikely someone pleasures you better than, well, you can, so dedicate as much time to discovering what gets you off without the pressure of having to make someone else feel good.
4. Spend time focusing on sexy memories
When you’re feeling less-than-sexy, it makes sense to kind of avoid the whole topic, right? Well, if you’ve already got a secret weapon (hi, Vella) that does the hard part for you, why not use that 25 minutes of recommended waiting time (for it to kick in) to plunge into some steamy memories?
5. Sleep naked
There can be so many barriers to intimacy: stress, busy lives, different bedtimes, the book you’re reading, your phone, week-old worn pajamas… Use some skin-to-skin time to maybe hold hands or stroke each other (or yourself). Find some time to wallow in the absolute luxury of intimacy with yourself or your partner.
6. Make a sexy playlist
Think: music, lyrics, and dirty talk.
“Playing music during sex or foreplay can stimulate several different happy hormone chemicals in our brains,” says Jackie Golob, a mental health counselor and sex & relationship therapist at the Minneapolis-based Centre for Sexual Wellness. (5)
Whether things are getting steamy with a partner, or you’re enjoying a night in with yourself…gone are the days of waiting for an orgasm.
This year, put your sexual wellness first: no more questioning, doubting, or being disappointed by another below-average sexual experience. Put the power of the “O-hhh” back in your hands—the power to be present, to play, to stay inspired, power to ruffle up the sheets and make poetry with your body, electric and trembling with joy.
For me, my new sexual wellness routine looks like this:
>> Morning: take a multi-vitamin and drink a glass of water
>> Evening: take a spin class (at least 2X a week)
>> Night: have 2 orgasms (one solo in the shower + one with the hubby)
Simple yet effective!
What’s your sensual routine going to look like?