Do me a favor right now/humor me: hiss like a snake. You know that s-s-s-s-s sound.

Now repeat after me…

S-s-s-s-sassy!

One of my favorites life strategy quips that I’ve encountered is a quick Q and A:

“Are you done being sassy?

No.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. We’re at that time of year.

It’s the new year, the new start, filled with the new and improved, “this is my year,” “I’m gonna do it,” “Let me grab those milk jugs as free weights for my triceps,” and all of those exhausting, debilitating, and potentially injury-prone statements, intentions, behaviors, and attempts at behaviors.

What if we just pressed pause on that, and embraced our inner sassiness, as is, already in progress? No resolutions required. Just self-love, a smidge of imagination (borderline delusion, if you wanna be cynical), and the s-s-s-s-sound.

Couldn’t hurt, right?

The Inner Inspiration:

Who do you want to be when you don’t want to be yourself?

Did I say an anti-self-esteem and an anti-self-acceptance thing?

Sometimes, a better way to accept ourselves is to see ourselves as someone else, someone else we admire. We admire that person for a reason, right? Hopefully, we haven’t crossed over into soul-vacuuming, destructive envy, erecting a serial killer shrine to them made out of Cheerios.

If we are genuinely, safely appreciating someone for an attribute, a characteristic, any “thing” that we perceive them to have that we do not, we can, perhaps, see them as a stunt person. That “stunt person” helps us to focus, allowing the object of our inspiration/motivation to serve us, doing the emotional, terrifying prat falls, we as ourselves, just may not be up to doing right now.

And those are the key words: right now.

Temporary.

A stunt person to stand in for us until we can, like the leading man or lady of a blockbuster film, inhabit and bask in the glory of us, authentically doing and being who we truly are.

Sound impossible? Well, just try and hang in there with me a bit. We’re not done yet.

The Inner Nostalgia:

Finding your motivation person/persona often comes from choosing the role model of our pop culture youth. That can be anyone and anything. Real, fictitious, animated, whatever.

Rita Hayworth and Wonder Woman have been mine. I hear you snickering.

Here would be a good time to introduce the reminding concept for us all: “whatever works.”

Anyway, Rita Hayworth and Wonder Woman represented women who were beautiful, powerful, and in command of their lives. Yes, I viewed them largely through their characters, Rita’s “Gilda” and of course, Wonder Woman, overall. But it had to do with confidence, the “inner sassy” that came oozing out of them.

So, back as a thirteen-year-old, I decided to dye my hair “Copper Penny…” twice in three months.

Yep. Did that. As that young teen, the warm tones in my skin clashed with my “Copper Penny” dyed hair and made me look like I had jaundice.  I did not get discovered by Hollywood. I did not become rich and famous. But I did start aligning with the beauty of Rita. I knew I was a teenage farmgirl, and Hayworth was a screen siren of days gone by, but I started inhabiting what it meant to be beautiful and commanding. I carried myself, perhaps, a bit more like Rita, as I lived on that farm, survived those school bullies, and had my dark roots growing out of my scalp.

Likewise, Wonder Woman also inhabited my being, ever since I had a pair of Underoos of the superhero as a kid. Second skin. No matter what people saw me wear on the outside, be it the turtlenecks and maroon polyester pantsuits of the era, that superhero underwear was my true self…as I was starting to discover myself.

Both Rita and Wonder Woman were my stunt women. My stand-ins.

While I was young, vulnerable, and in need, those ladies were there for me. Inner Sassy under construction.

So, who can be your stunt person, your inner sassy stand-in? Locate that individual, embrace how their characteristics that you admire are already yours, being developed now, even if you feel like a toad.

“Not… done… yet.”

“Are you done being sassy?

No.”

The Inner Move:

Movement. Action.

Even if we feel stuck in our lives right now, there is still some movement we can make. What is that?

Wonder Woman twirling into greatness and her skimpy superhero costume. Rita Hayworth, as Gilda, whipping her hair back, flirting with, “Me?” in response to the question, “Gilda, are you decent?”

In my childhood, in my adolescence, and yes, in my adulthood now, I have done the twirl and the hair flip from time to time. Like dosage directions on a bottle of aspirin. Sometimes, I need that dosage. Use as directed.

As part of my inspiration/motivational figures, these two individuals moved in some capacity. An empowering twirl. A strong hair flip. It goes beyond, what, exactly, the action is. It speaks more to decision to move, to, yes, continue to be sassy. Life- affirming. Spark-affirming.

Exercise can do that. One small decision can do that. Even if that decision is to consider considering answering our familiar question this way…

“Are you done being sassy?

No.”

The Inner Life (Or at least, the Inner Survival):

Wonder Woman and Rita Hayworth were there in my childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. These two individuals carried me through times of abuse and bullying, eating disorders, and later, cancer.

Wonder Woman was not stick thin. No matter how she was portrayed, whether in DC Comic form or by actresses Lynda Carter or Gal Gadot, this superhero was sturdy and strong. No matter how hell-bent I was on being emaciated, I still had this image to consider as I tried, in my own disordered way, to be beautiful.

But again, beauty was not this individual’s only trait. Strength, integrity, perseverance, kindness, wisdom, and honesty were as much a part of this superhero’s arsenal as her bulletproof bracelets, her eagle bustier, her raven hair, or her long, muscular legs.

Beauty is as beauty does. A person needs more to them than that.

To be “sassy,” you need to be layered, and complex as a human being. With my disorder eating and image issues, I had tunnel vision on image, to the exclusion of everything else. Time and life unfolded and showed me my hard-earned sassiness came, not just from a size, a number on a scale, or a pretty face, but by being in process as a human being. I wasn’t realizing this at the time of my childhood Underoos or during my teenage coveting phase. Adulthood, with each passing year, is deepening the lesson.

“Are you done being sassy?

No.”

Further deepening life lessons involved Rita Hayworth. When I first saw “Gilda” as a teenager, I had no clue of the significance of her most famous film role. Decades later, with my cancer diagnosis, I connected with another sassy influence in the cancer sorority, the comedian/actress/writer, Gilda Radner, supposedly named after the fictitious character.

It’s been four years and counting since by diagnosis.

And, if you ask me the question, so far…

“Are you done being sassy?

My answer is…

“No.”

What about you?

When life is, well, life, embracing the incarnation of our choosing can be a starting point in the sassy saver. It can, indeed, be an existence saver. Sometimes, in our lives, it comes down to survival: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual survival. Sassiness, “grit,” strength of character, whatever you want to call it, can be of the utmost importance.

Within the sassy realm, to quote “The Terminator’s” famous line…

“Come with me if you want to live.”

So…

“Are you done being sassy?

No.”

Don’t Be Done (Embrace Your Complication AND Your Inner Sassy):

Sooner or later, life will shut our mouths, or, at least, get our attention.

Just keep living.

Something will happen, something that pulls on our sassy reserves.

This is usually about the time when I reflect on this sentiment…

“Enjoy the beauty of the season you’re in.”

Eye rolls and sighs aside, there is truth and wisdom in these words. Our seasons are usually complicated eras. But they are also sassy eras. Am I stretching this concept too thin here?

Or is the sassiness inherently embedded within the life and beauty that we go about, from day to day, in our lives? An era, a chapter, a phase, a mistake, a lesson, a relationship, a goal, a loss, a death, a life.

Sassiness permeates throughout.

What era are you in right now? How would you describe it? We all know we are starting a new year. But what else is there to your life, besides this new year, with its campaign promises?

Beyond any resolution or effort, do you see your value right now? What are you doing with yourself in relationship with that value?

“Are you done being sassy?”

I hope, wish, and pray that our answer to that question is a resounding, life-living…

“No.”

S-s-s-s-sassy!

Copyright © 2022 by Sheryle Cruse