January 29, 2022

The Only Moment I would Relive Over & Over Again.

To start off, I know where I came from, and through the work I have done, I have finally made peace with it.

I honor my past and the lessons I have learned from it.

I know I have been blessed with many wonderful moments in this life, and for that, I am forever grateful.

My adult children are my greatest gifts, and the memories of many moments are amazing and endless, but I cannot make them responsible for my happiness, for they have their own lives to live and grow from. I can’t put the burden on them to hold the key to my happiness.

My husband is the love of my life, but he is also not responsible for my happiness and my growth, and I am not responsible for his.

I am hopeful that the wonderful and memorable moments will continue to outweigh the not-so-wonderful, dark, and painful ones.

I pray that I continue to be inspired by the light and wisdom others share about their pain, struggles, and joy.

It is in sharing and listening that I believe we feel less alone, less broken.

It’s where we begin to take off and let go of the things that are not ours to carry.

One morning last week, I woke up to a message a friend had sent me.

It was a short clip of a young woman asking this question:

If you could relive one moment in your life over again, what moment would it be?

Not to change it, just relive it.

When a moment is highlighted—illuminated—before us, I believe we can take (or learn) something from it.

Most times, it shows us something we need to let go of and put down.

When something that is shared resonates with us, it’s like a floodlight showing us the road that may have been dimly lit or even dark.

We are always given signs along the way, leading us. It may be a floodlight or breadcrumbs, but they are there.

The way to peace is always there; it’s always been there.

It is only hidden because we choose not to see it; most of the time, we are not ready to see the droppings, the clues that others have left behind for us to find.

Sometimes, the road to peace, our own individual peace, causes us to break another’s heart, shatter another’s world.

When we have to choose ourselves, when we have to do what’s right for our inner peace, there will always be casualties. We are bound to cause someone else pain when we choose freedom from the pain that keeps us stuck in a place we don’t want to live in.

The truth is that it matters not what another person thinks of us; our peace isn’t there.

Your peace, my peace, will never be found in another’s interpretation of it.

So, when I think of “the moment,” for me, a moment I would relive over again, not changing a thing, would be the moment I was here.

The moment that the light or breadcrumbs brought me to a place I have always known was there.

The breadcrumbs scattered far and apart at first leading me slowly to my home—the home that is me.

To relive the moment and not change one thing. To hear it, feel it, and surrender to it—to know it, to be it.

To feel safe and secure in my own being.

In that moment, I am here, and I am home.

If you are are here reading this, then maybe you, too, are searching.

Maybe you, too, are looking for the light, the breadcrumbs to lead you where you know you must go, where you know you must be.

Or maybe you are already there and are here to share.

What moment in your life would you relive without changing a thing?


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