Older women are, by design, fabulous and fascinating, gritty and gracious, witty and wise.
In the area of romance and intimacy—and life in general—they usually have been there and done that, but they could be ready for more. They’re self-assured, and they know exactly what they want and need.
More than anything, older women can be frivolous and fun to be with…and they’re oh-so ready to pamper their partners, especially if these partners are born much later. It’s no surprise, then, that many hot-blooded and adventure-seeking young adults are interested in older women.
If you’re someone who’s enchanted by fantastic females many years or decades your senior, but you have no idea how or where to find them, here are five proven tips:
1. Explore the world wide web.
The internet is a super-vast ocean with plenty of female fish, and it has search engines to point you in the right direction.
By “right direction,” we mean online dating platforms with brilliant algorithms that will match you with local ladies according to their age, education, occupation, hobbies, and interests. Some portals will even show the civil status of your prospects: widowed, divorced, annulled, separated, married, or never married.
So, if you’re into lasting relationships with older women, search phrases like “mature ladies near me,” “older women near me,” or “senior dating apps.” Check out the results, one by one if you must. Sign up on the portal that you think will best assist you with finding and meeting your match.
Meanwhile, if you’re into frivolous flings with ladies who are currently married (but who may be in open relationships) or with single mothers who are a generation or two ahead of you, search for dating apps featuring “cougars” or “MILFs”—cringe at the terms if you want, but believe it or not, the apps exist!
2. Go to restaurants, clubs, bars, and coffee shops with a mature crowd.
If dating apps aren’t your cup of tea, search for older women the traditional way: prospecting in wining and dining places where golden girls gather for warm food, cool drinks, and splendid company.
Just as there are hangouts for Generation Z’ers and stomping grounds for Millennials (or Gen Y’ers), there are haunts for Gen X’ers, Baby Boomers, and even the Lucky Few. The wining-and-dining places that mature crowds frequent tend to be laid-back. Chances are, the music in the background comes from bygone eras, and it resonates with them well.
If you’re a newbie in a club or bar for mature people, try heading straight for the singles bar and have a chat with the bartenders. They could give you pointers if you asked about the regulars or if you told them you were interested in making friends with the female habitués.
Now, if you’re a first-timer in a restaurant or coffee shop where older women are known to congregate, make friends with the service crew. Like bartenders, they can give you recommendations. (Tip: bartenders and wait staff are rich sources of personal stories, including those of cougars and sugar mamas who go to their establishments often. Play nice and tip them well.)
3. Go to culturally significant places.
Many older women have seen rowdier days, and they’re now inclined to enjoy some peace and quiet. And what better place than in public places with serenity and cultural significance?
So, when seeking an older woman to date, try your luck in libraries or bookshops where they may be researching materials for the novel that they’ve always wanted to write. Or go to galleries and museums where they appreciate artworks and artifacts and get inspiration for their dream craft projects…or both.
You can also participate in book clubs or creative writing workshops that cater mostly to seniors.
4. Enroll in wellness, culinary, craft, or language classes.
Most older women seem to be more health-conscious, and they’re keen on boosting their vitality and longevity.
Not only do mature ladies watch what they eat, but they’re also in search of ways to make themselves emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually sound. This is why many of them take wellness, culinary, craft, or language classes that can relax, invigorate, and satisfy their body, mind, heart, and soul.
Pick from tai chi, yoga, cooking, baking, cake decorating, pottery, woodworking, French, or similar classes in your area that welcome the Lucky Few, Baby Boomers, Gen X’ers, Millennials, and Gen Z’ers. You’ll likely find and meet an older woman to learn a new skill with, learn life lessons from, and date!
5. Ask family and friends for recommendations.
This could be tricky, especially if you’re not comfortable letting your inner circle know that you’re passionate about dating older women. But try to overcome your apprehension and anxiety, and be true to yourself and to the people who are close to you.
Once you’re confident enough to ask family and friends, have them connect you to older women who are ready to mix, mingle, and make merry with younger people. For all you know, one of these older women in your extended social network is out looking for someone like you!
And on your first date with an older woman:
All set to date an older woman? Well, not so fast! Here are things to remember when you’re with a mature lady:
1. Be respectful.
Just like any other human being, older women deserve your respect. Just because they’re game to play May-December games, it doesn’t mean that they’re giving anyone (including you) a license to judge and belittle them. Remember that while they’re admirably assertive, they’re not annoyingly aggressive. And they can be sensitive, too!
Never, ever call your date “cougar,” “cradle-robber,” “cradle-snatcher,” or “sugar mama” in her face unless she actually finds any or all of these endearments cute.
2. Be honest.
Again, just like any other human being, mature ladies deserve to hear your truth—from you, no less. Right from the start, state your desires and expectations. Tell her whether it’s a casual hookup or a lasting relationship with her that you want and need.
Moreover, don’t ever dare misrepresent yourself. Silver vixens are at the prime of life, and their inherent woman’s intuition is at peak levels. They’ll see easily through you sooner than later, so don’t even bother trying to make yourself look, sound, or act like someone else to impress her.
3. Listen, then ask away!
Older women, especially seniors, have a cornucopia of unique, fascinating stories to tell. They may also have sentiments and hang-ups that they want to share with their date. Be ready for a little drama, and be all ears when they’re speaking. This is how you’ll get to see how beautiful they are inside and out.
If you have questions about your date’s life, don’t hesitate to ask unless she has made it clear that she doesn’t want to talk about her past, as well as her present situation at home or at work. And if you’re unsure whether or not she’ll take offense at such questions, have a disclaimer such as, “May I ask if you’re still in touch with your ex-husband? It’s absolutely fine if you don’t want to answer that.”
Ask questions one at a time. Don’t behave like a police investigator interrogating a suspect!
4. Compliment the lady.
Tell your date how amazing she looks in that dress, how well her eyes match the color of her blouse, or whatever it is you find attractive about her. Later in your conversation, tell her how smart and funny you think she is. Don’t hold back your admiration, particularly if the woman you’re dating is worthy of your praise.
Older women are quite experienced and very different from younger, sometimes frivolous women. But if you choose the right strategy and follow this advice, you can score a date with just about any older woman.