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It’s estimated that the average adult makes more than 35,000 decisions a day.
No wonder we are mentally depleted by the time our head hits the pillow.
Our decisions are based on how we feel about ourselves and how connected we are to our inner wisdom.
Most decisions are made on autopilot due to conditioning, which doesn’t mean the decision is bad or wrong, but it may not be the most resonant for you in the long run or make you feel your best.
How can we make better decisions that will get us where we truly want to go? How can we viscerally connect with the deepest and purest truth?
We can ask the following pointed question, which will clear away the muck, debris, and dirt from our vision.
“If I loved myself, what would I do?”
Most of us talk about self-love in theory but don’t practice it in real life. And if self-love is a challenge for you, try this: can you start to practice treating yourself as you would the person you love most in the world?
When self-blame or self-criticism arises, can you respond the way you would if your best friend or child came to you with those same feelings?
I bet your empathy would skyrocket, and so would your self-worth.
When we ask, “If I loved myself, what would I do?” everything becomes clear. Why? Because we’ve decided that we are worth the most-in-alignment choice or way forward.
We all want the best for those we love, correct? Unless you’re insane or a sociopath, we all want those we love to be safe, fed, warm, comfortable, cared for, secure, and feel worthy of a good life.
So why do we disregard ourselves in that scenario? Because we’ve been taught through religious conditioning that putting ourselves first is wrong, selfish, and uncouth.
You are the only person you will be with your entire life. You are the only one inside your head, listening to yourself day in and day out.
Unless we make an effort to care as much about our well-being as we do about outside people, we won’t have crystal clear vision in our decisions. We will keep making decisions based on what others may think or what we believe we “should” do.
We have to care about how we feel and what we desire. We have to ask ourselves what we would do if we truly loved ourselves.
For example, if I loved myself, would I text back that person who I know has vampiric energy? No.
If I loved myself, would I take a chance and send that scary email asking for more pay? Yes.
If I loved myself, would I allow this person to treat me poorly, even if they are my friend/child/cousin/boss/lover/parent? No.
If I loved myself, would I ask my editor for help with something on my piece, even if it makes me apprehensive? Yes.
Now, you try!
Is there a looming decision that is bothering you? Ask yourself what you would do if you truly loved yourself. I bet the answer will be crystal clear in seconds, even if it makes you uncomfortable, tentative, or even a bit queasy.
Let’s say you are considering breaking up with someone. Just the thought of it makes you sweat. But something deep down keeps nagging at you to do it, even if you have feelings for them.
When you ask, “If I loved myself, would I stay with this person?” and you hear, “No!” it may not be the easiest answer to hear, but if you feel relief, then you know it’s what’s best for you.
Anything that brings instant relief is the way forward, even if doing it is challenging or out of our comfort zone.
The next time you’re perplexed by which way to go, remember this question and use it as a guidepost.
Pointed questions are helpful because they cut through conditioning and what we think we “should” do. Questions also awaken our curiosity, which helps us view things from a higher and different perspective.
So, now that you know the question, what is your answer?